Out of My Hands, and Sharpening my Focus

Friday, I sent all of our dossier papers to the various Consulates to be authenticated. We had two documents that had to go to the US Secretary of State first, and then they will be forwarded to the Embassy in DC. They are all out of my hands now. All documents were received on Monday and are being processed.

We sat down on Monday night to work on our adoption parent education, but started with our dossier checklist to see what we needed to get done this week as our papers are being authenticated. We were able to check off all the various boxes on the list! There is such a sense of accomplishment when I get to place a check mark in the little box. Once the documents are sent back to us from the Consulates and the Embassy, we can put them all together and submit them all to the agency, who will submit them to the CCAA in Beijing.

It seems like a lifetime ago since we began this journey, but it was only October. Since then, so much has happened, and I am forever changed because of it. My father went to be with the LORD on December 28, 2007. He taught me so much about life and love. Even in my rotten, rebellious teenage years, he loved me unconditionally. He had the courage to stand up to me when I was wrong, and tell me so. It wasn't easy, and there were years that I thought my relationship with him was irreparably damaged. By God's grace, and my father's faithfulness, our relationship was restored. At the time of his death, he had become, once again, my biggest encourager and prayer partner. I spoke with him at least weekly, and I miss him dearly. I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me. No, I know with all confidence that my tears of sorrow will be wiped away and I will be reunited with my earthly father one day when we meet again in heaven.

There are many lessons that my father taught me over the years. One of my most treasured lessons that I learned from my father's life is that success is measured not by the amount of monetary profit at the end of the day, rather it is measured by the lives that are touched by our service. My father would not be considered wealthy by most American standards, but he was richly blessed in his service to others. He told me more than once that I could not have anything I wanted, but that I could have anything I was willing to work for as long as God was glorified through my actions. This has become the cornerstone of what I want my children to learn.

I know this is wordy, and you are probably wondering if my rambling has a point. Well, here it is. Can you look back on your life and see how your purpose has been shaped by those around you? Can you see how the ones in your past have shaped your future goals and desires? There are too many people to list in one little blog post, but I can say that I can look around me and see those who have influenced me toward where I am today. Some people, like my father, have been positive influences in my life, and others have been shining examples of what I do not want to be. I can name many, many people that could be labeled as successful by worldly standards, and yet I look at their lives and see squandered potential. It breaks my heart to see amazing, talented individuals who could have used their influence to God's glory, but for whatever reason, they do not. I am not saying that these are bad people, don't get me wrong, they are not bad, only short-sighted. Have you ever been given a God-sized dream, and realized that you can be part of His purposed to bring it into reality? Think about Noah for a moment... others thought he was crazy, but he followed God's plan and humanity was redeemed for it.

This adoption process has sharpened my focus on the needs of orphans around the world. James 1:27 says "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (NIV). I have always had a heart for humanitarian aid organizations. But the needs are so great and diverse, it is easy to get lost in the sea of needs. All of these needs are real. They all need workers who will toil towards an end goal that is bigger than themselves. Many of these needs overlap and mesh together. For me, orphan care is the need that affects my family in a very real way. I am touched by the amazing families who work in this area through adoption. But what of the millions of children left behind?

That is where organizations like Children's Hope International, Compassion International, East-West Ministries, Shaohannah's Hope, and so many others come into play. These multifaceted organizations have humanitarian aid divisions that can focus on the care and need of the orphans who are not yet chosen for a forever home. And they need our help. Fundraising, donations, and raising awareness to the needs out there are all important. And, I guess this is just one little way for me to help out. I know that there are many causes out there that need help, and I am not trying to say that one is more important than another, no, this is one of many good causes, and unfortunately one person cannot focus on them all. I will not tell you that you have to choose orphan care as your primary focus, but it is a very real, viable option to consider.... just a little food for thought.

God Bless.

Adoption blog surfing...

So what do I do when I am in need of inspiration and encouragement about this adoption process? I go blog surfing. I thought I'd share some of my favorites with you. Now, keep in mind, I have not even met these folks in person, but they have all touched my heart in one way or another. And, you know me, when I find something good, I have to share. So, here are a few of the people that I follow and pray for on a regular basis...

Cindy has the most beautiful set of triplets from Ethiopia. Her blog is always inspiring with photos and videos about living life through the boys' eyes. And, they are cute beyond words. Seeing them grow up and change over the course of the blog is wonderful.

The Bushel and a Peck blog wows me over and over. I have to say that Lisa is one of my new heroes for her ability to balance faith, family, and 10 children.

A blog that I just found last week is by Farmboy and Buttercup. Oh my, their humor is fabulous, and I was blown away by some of the scripture references they posted. I can only say that God has blessed me many times over through reading about their journey to adopt twins from Ethiopia.

And, I would be remiss to leave out one of my absolute favorite blogs ever, for Mac. Mac's story is not about adoption. He is a precious little boy battling a horrible illness. But I have to say, his mama amazes me. Her courage and grace in the midst of the toughest battle I can imagine is the most inspirational story I can think of. Mac's smile can brighten a room. I have only met this handsome little fellow once (at my father's funeral), but Amy (Mac's mama) is one of my sister's best friends, and I try to keep up with his prayer requests as best I can. And on that note, I want to give God praise and glory for the wonderful report that Mac's little brother is not a carrier for this disease!! For any of you who may go blog surfing, please hop on over to his page and say a little prayer for this wonderful, precious boy, and for the researchers who work daily to find a cure. God bless you Mac.

So there it is... just a small sample of the people who inspire and encourage me, even if they don't even know it.

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My Lots of Kids post today:

March is finally here:

Spring is on the way. I know it is. Really. The calendar promises that it cannot be winter forever, it just feels that way. But, March is here, and we had our first days of 65 degree weather on Saturday and Sunday for March to come in like a Lamb... wait, isn't that backwards? Oh well. The temperatures dropped back to 35 for Monday and today, so our little snippet that Spring is coming was short lived.

I love Spring. The spring and fall are my two favorite seasons. The moderate temperatures are perfect for ditching the heavy coats in favor of light sweaters. The trees will soon be sprouting little green buds, and before long, the daffodils will shoot up in all their brilliant splendor. Our wimpy dog (who despises the cold weather) will get to spend more time lazing around in the warm sunshine, and we will be able to keep the windows open for a fresh breeze.

And, as crazy as this sounds, I love rain. Spring tends to be our rainy season in this area of the country. I love the patter of rain on my windows and roof. I love to see the plants perk up as they drink in a soft gentle shower. A gentle rain shower is romantic, and cozy; perfect for snugging on the sofa with a quilt, a cup of tea, and a good book (or with a pile of kiddos and a bigger pile of their books)

But the spring cough and cold season have hit us full swing. Oh the joys of trying to comfort little people who are wracked with coughing fits all night long.... and without cough medicine too. Can you feel the sarcasm? Thanks to the good old scare about giving kids cough and cold medicines, so much has been pulled off the shelf. Now what are we supposed to do? Around here, it means the poor little tykes get lots of warm showers to try and help with congestion, and very little sleep for mom and dad.

Last night, it was Jenna's turn to be up coughing. No fever, just cough. Bless my dear hubby, he's the one who has to get up the earliest, but he was still valiantly trying to give sips of water and keep her propped up on the pillows while I rubbed her back with my eyes half shut. Poor little thing. All 32 pounds of her shakes with every cough. I don't know about you, but around here spring and fall weather changes just reek havoc on our health. And, with 6 of us in the same house, and whichever kid is sick at the time crawling into bed with us at night, we just keep it going around.

But, even this pesky spring cough is a reminder that warmer days are coming. Spring is finally on its way.

Random Thoughts....

1. GOD IS SO GOOD!!! Ok, I just had to begin with that one. I know that so much of the crud around us is frustrating and miserable, but He is still faithful. He never leaves us to our own devices. He is good, even when we don't deserve it.

2. To fill you in on our little Miss Julia, we requested her file from the waiting child coordinator at our agency on Monday Feb 18th. Unfortunately, another family requested it 2 hours before me.... We had to wait. Then, on Thursday, I got a call that her file was available, so we reviewed it, and decided that she was the one for us. I just knew, every time I looked at her face, she looked like my child. Yes, I know, she is Chinese, but you know how you dream of your child for so long, and then as soon as she is born and you see her face, you know that is exactly how she should look, and you cannot imagine that she look any different? Well, that was the case here too.

So, that night, we were beginning our letter of intent and Family information sheet, and I saw an email that said her file was locked by another agency. WHAT?!?! How could that be? I knew it was a chance that we would take, but that was really fast. So, we emailed the China coordinator back and told her that we were proceeding with the paperwork and would submit it to her so she would have it just in case the other agency did not get a letter of intent within the 24 hour period required by the CCAA. We knew without a doubt that if this was our child, God would not allow her to be placed in another home. He places children exactly where He wants them to be.

The next afternoon, we got a call that she was available again, and Ann was having our letter and information translated into Chinese, we just need to submit our passport photos. An hour and a half later, she was locked by the other agency again. Dear Ann, promised to keep checking back. We were riding a roller coaster of emotion, but God was still in control.

Everyday we got an email that said "still locked." Then on Tuesday night we were sitting in our favorite Mexican restaurant after a night of student conferences, and Ann called us to say that she checked the CCAA site one more time and there she was. Since Ann had already had our paperwork translated, she was submitting our stuff right then. Within a few minutes, she called back to say everything was submitted!

Our little girl was locked in for us. We would have a daughter... a precious 5 year old little girl, one month younger than our Jenna... A little girl who was born on my parents' 32nd anniversary. We hope to travel this fall to bring her home. She is absolutely beautiful. Ann later told me that she was touched by our leap of faith to write a letter of intent for a child that seemed out of reach. God is good.

3. I was reminded by Jillienne's blog that I do have 4 other kiddos to talk about too (thanks Jillienne). All the kiddos had super reports from their teachers on their student conferences. I cannot believe that Jackson will be in MIDDLE SCHOOL this fall! And, Jenna will begin Kindergarten! Am I really that old? No, I didn't think so either, but my kiddos sure are growing up fast! Well, dinner is ready, gotta go feed the hungry masses!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

More information will follow when I can think clearly... But we are officially expecting a 5 year old little girl! The call came tonight, and I cried for joy, sitting in a restaurant, not caring who was watching!

One Long, Busy Day

That is what today was. Long. Busy. And on top of that, we used an entire tank of gas. Oh well, the price to pay for getting documents State Certified... one step closer to sending the dossier. Jenna says that the next time we have a busy day planned, she is going to hide where I cannot find her so we can stay home.

Poor Jenna. We had to go to the bank, post office, 2 different Secretary of State offices (two different states), back to the first Secretary of State office, the county court house, and back to the post office. We made it back home with barely enough time to meet the kids off the school bus. The weather is bitter cold and windy, and Jenna fell, nose first, on the sidewalk. Now, she has an ugly little scrape on her top lip.

I am exhausted, and it is just now time to start kiddos on homework and get dinner started.

I will be sooooo thankful to get this dossier submitted. Our original goal was Feb 28th, and because of our unexpected month long trip to MD, we are a little behind, but not too much.

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This is my Valentine's post from Lot's of Kids, last week:

I Know What Love Is:

Valentine's Day is getting closer, and it has made me think. When I was growing up, my father would buy each of us a red heart Valentine's Day balloon. Even when I was a rebellous teenager, my dad instilled in me the concept that I was loved unconditionally just because I was me, even when he did not approve of my actions. When I was older, and married, my dad would call me every Valentine's morning to remind me that he loved me. Throughout the year he would call me randomly through the week to just say hi. A Daddy's Love is a precious thing.

I know, you were thinking that this would be all about my wonderful hubby, right? Well, it is. See, he loves me unconditionally too. These past few months have challenged me in ways I never anticipated. You know what I found out? That old phrase "my better half" isn't that far off. Not to say that Scott is better than me, or that I am better than him. No, we are just two parts of one whole. When I am discouraged, he encourages me. When he is frustrated, I provide a different perspective. We work together. It is not me and him, it is us. And I am so thankful for that us.
I have been called many things in my life. I have many responsibilities and duties. But, we are a team. I know that there are a lot of families that function very well with the husband that "brings home the bacon" and the wife who "cares for hearth and home." That is great, and if it works for you I am happy for you. I don't mean to offend any one else, but that is not how our home works. We have a more collaborative style. Every decision involves us both. We coordinate our work schedules so that one of us can be with the kids. Our kids take up a lot of our time, and when we work opposites shifts, sometimes we pass each other coming and going. But, we always find time each week for just us.

I have often been told that I am only successful at what I do because I have a husband who allows me to do those things. Well, I wonder if they ever considered that we are successful at what we do because we work together to get it all done as a family. We do not have a bunch of kids because my poor hubby was tricked into them in order to make me happy. No, we have a bunch of kids because WE made the choice. We choose to raise our family with values and morals that we hold dear, and that includes working together as a family unit.

Just a few weeks ago, my father passed away. I have had a lot of conversations with people about the measure of a sucessful life. In my opinion, success is not based on who can earn the most profit and have the most stuff. Success is based on values and supporting each other as we influence the people around us, hopefully for the better. At the end of the road, the only thing that we can take with us is our integrity, and our name. We all have a legacy to leave. I hope that as I live each day, others will see my life and know that I am successful because of the love and encouragement of these amazing men that I call my father and my husband.

I am blessed everyday because of the unconditional love that these two men have shown me. One told me from the time I was small that I could do anything I was willing to work for, and taught me about God's unconditional love by his example. The other one supports and encourages my efforts as we work towards our goals together.

So there it is. Love is unconditional. There is nothing on this earth as empowering than to know that kind of love.

Somebody's missing...

Yesterday after church service, it happened again. I was standing there in the sanctuary with all four of my kiddos and someone said, "This isn't all of your kids, is it? Isn't somebody missing?" My heart was gripped for a moment and I looked her straight in the eye and replied, "No, this isn't all of them, there is one still in China that I haven't brought home yet." This is happening more and more these days. Even our dear social worker who wrote our homestudy looked at the four kids last week and asked who was missing.

My answer is the same to them all. "Yes, someone is missing, and I am doing everything I can to bring her home." This adoption process has been such a lesson in faith. We know with all certainty that God has already selected our child. She is there, waiting for us just as we are waiting for her. I cannot wait to meet her. I do not yet know where she is or when she was born. I just know that she is there, and she has already been perfectly selected for our family. She is spoken for, even if she doesn't know it yet.

God does not make mistakes. He will bring her home to us in His perfect timing. And, He continues to remind me on a daily basis that He has a wonderful child waiting for us... Praise Him that she won't be missing for long.

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My post on Lots of Kids from yesterday...

My Stapler Has a Home...

...and I am all kinds of happy!!! Yeah, I know, that may just permanently define me as totally not normal, but really, normal is over-rated.

I might need to elaborate. Every year I go through this crazy, paperwork-obsessed time. It always happens in January and February. You know, it is tax filing season, so I go through every pile of papers in my home to find all of the stuff I need. Now, don't get me wrong, several years ago I adopted this really great filing system. It is based on a 3 drawer system to keep track of all the important stuff. The system is great. The problem is that I only had one drawer. So, for the past 7 years I have been cramming all that stuff into one drawer, and lots of piles. Now, add to that great filing system my current adoption process. I am learning the hard way that there is more paperwork associated with adoption than taxes. So, now it is tax season, and adoption season, and I am purging and sorting paperwork like a crazy woman.

So, here is where I get excited. Last week, I was discussing the need for a new filing cabinet with my husband. It doesn't have to be glamorous and elaborate, but I wanted something in oak that would look nice and be functional at the same time. See, we don't really have an office, per se. Our computer desk is in this little nook between the laundry room and two bedrooms... I use the term "nook" generously... the hallway is just wide enough to accommodate the desk, and still walk to the rooms comfortably.... and it will be visible from the living room and dining room areas. I was lamenting that I was having a hard time justifying the expense on something like a filing cabinet when I have all these other ways to spend the money. He told me to forget about it for this once, and to go that day to get a filing cabinet. We got online to check basic prices at one of the local furniture mega-warehouse stores, and decided on a budget. I was really only needing a 2 drawer cabinet to better accommodate my 3 drawer system. We discovered that there wasn't much price difference to get a 4 drawer cabinet, and it was still within what I could budget.

So, my "frivolous," spur of the moment, but really, really needed filing cabinet came home with me that very same day, and I have two extra drawers to fill up. What a wonderful hubby I have. (This is where my single and or childless friends have determined that I am nuts) My new filing cabinet is one of my favorite purchases!!! I have spent the last week sorting paperwork, and putting things together where I can find them at a moment's notice. I even splurged on a new set of post-it note pads, paper clips, file folders, and hanging files to complete my little system. One of these days I may get one of those fancy little office supply sorter things to put the little stuff in. For now, I have my pencils and supplies sorted in coffee cups on top of file cabinet. And, to top it off, I found my stapler, and gave it it's very own spot, so I can find it when I need it, instead of searching every child's room.

I have this little fantasy that one day I will be one of those really organized people where everything in the house has a place, and everything gets returned to it's place after each use. For now, I am just happy that I can sort my paperwork and find my stapler and paper clips when I need to. I'll deal with the rest of the stuff later.

Tribute to my Father

This is what I shared as a tribute to my daddy, at his memorial service on Dec 31, 2007:

My Dad taught me a lot of things growing up. But the most important thing he taught me was that this life is not about the here and now. It is not about this earth. It is about eternity.

We just celebrated his last Christmas on this earth and I am thankful that my family was able to be here for it. My husband and I planned our trip 5 days before we left to drive out here. We knew that his condition was serious, and we decided at the last minute that I would take Family Medical leave to spend as much time as I could with him. Little did I know how close the timing actually was. We arrived on Saturday the 22nd. He was at home, and he hugged my children and smiled as he told them that he loved them and that he was glad they came to see him. God blessed my family that day with that one little visit. It was early the next morning when my sister and I rushed from her house to the hospital. Dad was in the ER.

This past week has been a flurry of activity, worry, and grief. But this past week has also been a week of God raining his blessings on our entire family. My grandma, mom, brother, sister, and I have been supported and loved by friends, family, and the wonderful hospital staff. We have laughed and cried as we have been reminded about all that dad accomplished in his 58 years.

We had our Christmas with Dad in a hospital room, and we celebrated the true meaning of the season.

Growing up, we never had a Santa decoration in the house. We had nativity sets. Every year we talked about the birth of our Savior, and the gifts the wise men brought. That is why we exchange gifts today.

I am thankful that my Dad taught me the true meaning of Christmas. But I am more thankful that he taught me about Easter. You see, Jesus was born in order to die for our transgressions.

I am thankful that he taught me that this life is not all we have. We have a heavenly father who loved us so much, He sent his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but will have eternal life. We have a heavenly Father who is the awesome God of the universe. He is holy and majestic and he cares about us. He sees our hurt, our pain, our joy and our weakness. He accepts us as we are, broken and sinful. And when we have no strength left to give, he carries us so that in our weakness He can prove Himself strong.

My Dad used to do children’s messages with little “magic tricks” to show how simple God’s love is. It is so simple even a little child can understand. The Bible says if you believe with your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, you will be saved. The result of accepting God’s free gift of salvation is eternal fellowship with the One, True, and Awesome God of the universe.

We are all sinners, not one of us is holy. It is amazing to me that a holy God actually chooses to have fellowship with sinful people. He desires us so much that He provided the sacrifice once and for all for our sin. In Romans, we are told that while we were still sinners, Jesus Christ died for us.

I am grateful that my parents taught me that scripture, prayer, and faith are important in this life. Scripture is God’s holy word to us and prayer is our two way communication with God. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see. I cannot see my heavenly Father, but I know with all assurance, by His own word that He sent His son to be born in a stable and die on a cross to be the sacrifice for my sin; so that I can have eternal fellowship with the awesome creator of the universe.

My father taught me the importance of sharing my faith through the way that I live. By the fruit of our lives we are known. My father chose to serve God in his life and his career. Now, he is forever celebrating in the presence of the Great “I Am”.

It is humbling to think that we have the privilege to serve God. He can accomplish His plan without us. I am honored that my father’s service to God has led many others to fellowship with Christ. I am humbled to speak with so many wonderful Christian leaders who were touched by my father’s life.

I am comforted to know that I will see my father in heaven and we will worship and praise our Savoir for all eternity.

For my dad, I’ll be missing you here on this earth, but I will see you again on the streets of gold.

WELL DONE, DADDY.

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This is what I said on the Lots of Kids Blog today:

A Christmas Like No Other:

This Christmas was like none other I can think of. Two weeks before Christmas, we were told that my father was very ill, and there was a possibility that he would not survive until Easter. My husband and I decided to spend my father's last Christmas with my family, so we packed at the last minute, and drove half way across the country to be here in time. We arrived on Sat Dec 22nd, and he was at home, tired but smiling. The next morning he went into the hospital and he passed on to be with the LORD on Dec 28th.

This year, I sobbed on Christmas day as my father was taken into the ICU. I grieved for my children when they came to the hospital to tell him "Merry Christmas" and "We love you, Grandpa" even though he could not respond.

My New Year's Eve was a memorial service for my father. We celebrated his life and his service to God as a life long career minister. It was humbling to see the collection of amazing Christian leaders gather to celebrate how my father's ministry touched their lives and helped to develop their own ministries.

This year, I begin a New Year grieving my loss, but rejoicing for his gain. This year, my mother will learn how to be a widow in stead of a wife. This year, we will learn a new kind of "normal."
This year, I am cherishing the gift of my family.

Here's to a year of no regrets.