Erika's Funny Farm

Loving the Heart of a Grieving Child

2009-12-09T14:51:00.002-06:00

I have agonized over whether to blog about this because it is so personal. But, in talking with other parents and reading about other peoples’ experiences, I thought it may help someone else who is going through the same things.

One of the most difficult things I have had through this adoption is trying to teach my daughter that she is safe, loved, and how to grieve in a healthy way. Grief comes out in many different ways. There are many terrific books and resources out there, but it is such an individual thing. Grief looks different for everyone. At our house, it comes out through lying and stealing. For a long time, we let things go because we couldn’t really distinguish between a language barrier and knowingly telling a lie. Well, we are past comprehension issues, and it is just a means of manipulation.

I must say, one of my biggest irritants is lying. It bothers me much more than just about anything else. When the kids get in trouble, we can work it out if they tell me the truth. But, there is no reasoning with a lie. It just doesn’t work. What makes it even worse is that it is not lying across the board. It is mostly directed at me. And not about the big stuff, but little stuff too. I can stand there and watch an action, ask why she did it, and her response is that “it wasn’t me” or “I didn’t.” Ooooo. I just saw you with my own eyes little one, I don’t believe it.

This is an ongoing thing, but we are making progress. Not too long ago, I was to the point of absolute desperation. After trying everything that I could think of, from punishments to rewards, to extra attention, to quiet time alone, or going to bed early; that I asked, “What happened when you got in trouble in China?”

Well, that stopped her in her tracks. We were all sitting at dinner, all of us there, and since she is a terrible liar, she was busted again. I was at my wits end, and trying to be calm. She just looked at me. So I asked, “What happened if you told lies to China mama or China daddy (her foster parents)?” Her very quiet response was “my bottom spanked.”

Ok, so we know that it was not allowed in her first 6 years; that is a good start. “So, why do you tell lies to mommy and daddy? Why do you steal from your sisters and brothers?” A very quiet, “I don’t know” was the response. We could both tell from her reaction that we hit something very deep. Scott asked “Do you like living here with us?” And she immediately nodded her head and said yes. Hmm, we were on to something.

I asked her to stand next to me so I could put my arm around her. I asked, “Do you miss living in China?” Nothing. “Do you miss China mama and China daddy?” Nothing. “Do you love China mama?” It was like talking to a statue. “Do you know mommy loves China mama?” Tears flowed silently down her face. “Do you know daddy loves China mama? Do you know mommy loves China daddy and China sister? Do you know daddy loves China daddy and China sister?” By now she was on my lap, face to face, fully crying. “Do you miss living in China with China mama and China daddy?” A very tearful nodded yes.

Once the flood gates were open, we could talk about mommy and daddy missing where we grew up, and missing our families too. She began to talk about when her foster sister took her out to eat, and took her different places. Even with tears on her face, there was finally a smile too.

OK, now it was time to move on to the behavior…

So we asked Jenna what happens when she gets in trouble in school (a regular occurrence since Jenna likes to talk to her friends instead of listen to the teacher ). Jenna explained what she has to do, including that she has to tell mommy about it after school. Then we can talk about it and hug and snuggle and Jenna can try to make better decisions the next day.

When we asked Julia why she doesn’t tell us that she gets in trouble and we have to hear about it after it has gotten bad enough for the teacher to send a note, she said she didn’t know. We pointed out that the day before, both Jenna and Julia got in trouble, but that Jenna told me the truth, and Julia lied and said she didn’t get in trouble. Julia was punished for lying, but Jenna and I sat and talked and then Jenna participated in that nights activities. We explained (again) that the difference was caused by the lie, not getting in trouble for talking at school. Then we went around the table, and all the kids told about when they got in trouble at school at some point, but they told mom and dad the truth, and we talked, but it did not result in punishment in the same way Julia’s did. We asked over and over if she understood that everyone gets in trouble sometimes. But we must always tell the truth. And then I asked another question that stumped her.

“Do you know that I still love you when you are in trouble?” We were back to a blank stare and no response. “Do you know I love you?” Nodded head yes. “Do you know I love you when you are in trouble?” Nothing. “I love you no matter what you do, even when you are in trouble.” Now we were back to tears. “I am your mother, and I love you. I HATE to have to punish, I would rather talk and play and hug and snuggle. But I cannot talk to a liar. But, even when you are in trouble, I love you. OK?” Nodded head yes.

Did we get through? The next day, she came in the door and I asked about her day. She looked in my eyes and told me she sat in the safe seat because she talked. I hugged her. I wanted to throw a party. Not because she got in trouble, but because she told me about it. We talked about it. I kissed her head and told her thank you for telling me the truth. Then she ate her snack and had a good day with the other kids.

I still catch her in lies, and I have to remind her that in this house we tell the truth. We have talked about China more and she has opened up about things that she did and that she misses. Lying and stealing irritate me. But, when I remember that she is still processing grief, I can redirect our conversations to how she is feeling when she does these things. She is still learning to trust us, she is still learning that no matter how hard she pushes me away, I am still her mom, and I will never leave her. If I could pour out enough love into her broken little heart to heal her wounds, I would do so in an instant. But there are some wounds that take a long time to heal. I am still praying for her, and for me. She is grieving a loss bigger than I can imagine, and even on the happy days, she can have moments of sadness that cause her to act out.

Watching her grieve and knowing that I cannot make it better is hard. But, she is still as amazing as she always was. She is learning and growing, and slowly trusting. It is easy to trust with the happy stuff. It takes longer to trust with the sad stuff. She is beautiful and strong and resilient, and growing into all the wonderful potential that she has.

Happy Birthday to Jenna!!

2009-11-24T22:22:00.002-06:00

I am a few days late, but Jenna turned 7 last week, so here are 7 things about my Jenna:

7. She shares her middle name with my grandmother, my mother, my sister, and my niece.

6. She loves the color blue with a PASSION!!

5. She may be the smallest of the bunch, but she can give the big kids a run for their money any day.

4. She doesn't care much for "girly" toys, but loves to play pirates, star wars, police, or anything else that involves the boys. Forget the pink bike too, she likes the boys' style better.

3. She is learning how to read books, and her favorites are the Junie B. Jones series.

2. She could climb all the way to the top of a playground "rock wall" at 2 years old. She was only 18 pounds, and other moms gave me dirty looks for letting a baby do something so dangerous, but she was determined to be a big girl and proove everyone wrong. She can still climb like a monkey.

1. She is mine, and in the words of Mary Poppins, "practically perfect in every way." Don't change anything Jenna. You are great just the way you are!!!

This Morning's Bus Stop Conversation

2009-10-14T11:58:00.002-05:00

"Hey, Mom, do you know you have gray hair?"

"Yeah, Mom, you have a lot of gray hair right there."

"Gee, thanks guys."

I teach my kids to tell the truth, and this is what I get. :-)

Happy Birthday Jacquelynne

2009-08-19T09:03:00.005-05:00

Jacquelynne turned 11 three days ago. Wow, time sure flies. So in honor of the prettiest young lady in 5th grade this year, here are 11 things about Jacquelynne:

11. She shares my middle name.
10. She is an incredible artist with a very good eye for balance and composition.
9. She is sensitive and caring toward all her younger siblings.
8. She has my attitude.
7. She is growing up so fast, and taking longer to get ready in the morning.
6. She loves purple.
5. She already has her vet school picked out for after college.
4. She is an avid reader, and is currently enjoying historical fiction books.
3. She is our little dog trainer.
2. Her favorite TV shows are on Animal Planet.
1. She is growing into an amazingly beautiful young lady.

- Love you sweetie,
Mom

Lipstick

2009-08-18T12:35:00.003-05:00

Monday night was meet the teacher night for Back to School. As we were getting ready to go to 3 different schools to meet 5 sets of teachers, Joseph's sweet little heart showed through again. I had the kids gathering their school supplies to load in the car and get their shoes on and I told them that we had 10 minutes to get out the door. I was heading upstairs and told them I need to "put my face on" and they needed to be ready when I was done. (Yes, I have this down to 5 minutes or less on most days)

Anyway, as I was turning to go upstairs, Joseph looked up at me with his fully loaded backpack on his back and his arms full of Kleenex boxes and said, "But mom, I think you already have your pretty face on." Aww. I told him thank you and gave him a kiss and he added, "you just need lipstick, that's all."

He made my day!

Happy Birthday Jackson

2009-08-06T13:06:00.004-05:00

Today my very first baby turns 13. What a wonderful young man he is. It is hard to believe it has been 13 years since I first saw his perfect little face. Today, he is a teenager and at the beginning of a new chapter. Being his mom just keeps getting better and better.

This week he is off on his grand 13 year old adventure with Grandpa and Grammy. He boarded a plane on his own last Friday. Everyday this week they have jam packed outings customized just for him. They have explored the International Spy Museum in D.C., visited the civil war battle site Antietam, seen the new Harry Potter movie, visited the National Zoo, and the week is only half over. And Tuesday night they went to my sister's house to see his Aunt Chrisi, Uncle John, my mom, and his 3 cousins to celebrate his birthday.

As hard as it was to let him go, I know he is having such a great time. So in honor of the big 13, here are 13 things about Jackson:

13. He is compassionate with his younger siblings.
12. He is intelligent and curious, and a terrific learner.
11. He is a fan of Harry Potter and Star Wars.
10. He reads books to his little sister.
9. He taught himself how to make stop action movies with Windows Movie Maker, Lego's, and my old camera.
8. He spent last summer with one of my old German text books just because he wanted to learn something new.
7. He can build a house of cards.
6. He plays the viola so beautifully it brings tears to my eyes to sit and listen.
5. He is my tech support kid. He can plug in and set up the DVR, DVD, Wii, Xbox, and computer.
4. He sang a solo part at our church in front of approximately 3000 people when he was only 9.
3. He draws cartoons.
2. He is funny.
1. He is now a teenager.

I love you buddy!
-Mom

Lazy Morning and Wii

2009-07-21T08:24:00.003-05:00

After cleaning the house top to bottom last week, we are enjoying a lazy, rainy morning today.

Quick update on last week's cleaning frenzy... 5 large bags stuffed full of kids clothes went to goodwill. Yippee!!! I *LOVE* cleaning out and purging stuff we can no longer use.

So this morning, we are playing Wii NASCAR racing. The kids are so much better than I am. OK, really, I am terrible at this game. However, playing with the kids is fun. My favorite Wii game is the Family Game Night set. Battleship is my game.

Gotta run now. Almost my turn.

Cleaning Day

2009-07-15T14:21:00.003-05:00

It is cleaning day here at the funny farm. We have stripped bare the kids bedrooms, thrown out garbage bags full of papers and broken toys, and filled old Wal-mart sacks full of shoes that are too little. My washing machine has been loaded to the brim 3 times so far, and the pile just keeps growing. 5 beds of linens make for a mighty big laundry pile.

All five kids have wiggled under beds and into the far reaches of closets. I cannot even count the number of times I have heard them say, "Wow, having five kids is a lot of work."

Now, we are all taking a break for apple slices and a card game. All of us except the washing machine that is. :-)

Not so fun to read about I am sure. But a clean house is always a good thing.

Big Scare, Glad It Is Over.

2009-07-08T13:38:00.005-05:00

Two days ago, we had one of our biggest scares ever. Jenna fell and hit her head while rough housing with her older brothers. For several minutes I told her she was ok and tried to sooth her crying. Something wasn't right. I can't tell you exactly what it was, maybe the way she held her head, maybe the way she told me, "I'm trying not to cry." But something wasn't right. This went on for several minutes. My gut told me we needed to have her seen by a doctor. So, I told her to get her shoes, that we would go to the doctor. I gathered my things and got ready to go call the family doctor, and then everything changed. Jenna threw up. I mean, really bad kind of threw up.

I am not a doctor or a nurse, but since I do work in an ER, I have seen reactions from medical personnel change to key things (chest pain, trouble breathing, etc...). Every triage nurse I have ever worked with asks 2 questions to someone who hits their head. 1. Did they lose consciousness? 2. Did they throw up? If the answer is yes, they respond differently. So, combine that with my Jenna was nearly limp after vomiting, and my response changed very quickly too.

I scooped her up, she didn't need shoes anymore because I could carry her in faster than she could walk anyway. I told Jacquelynne to call daddy at work and tell him to meet us at the ER. Forget the family doc, he is a nice guy and pretty smart, but we now needed a cat scan and he doesn't have that at his office. So off we went to the ER.

There have been many times that families have complained to me at work that they have to sit too long in the waiting room to be seen. One thing that I know for sure is that non-life threatening cases do have to wait when we are overloaded. This may sound strange, but the ER is the one place you DON'T want to be first in line, because that means you are potentially really sick or injured.

Since I work in our local ER, I knew the registrars and nurses. I also knew it was not good to be pulled into the triage room and told that she would be going back to a bed as soon as her vitals were done. She was limp, rated her pain at a 10 out of 10, and threw up again in triage. I guess it is good that I don't know specifics of how bad it could really be, because I just cannot go there about my own kids. But I knew it just wasn't right. So we got a cat scan, saw the doctor, and I tried really hard to be patient. My baby was hurt, and I couldn't fix it.

Now for the good news: no fracture, no bleeding, no bruising. She will be fine. She had a concussion with nausea and vomiting. We stayed overnight in the hospital so she could be watched and get iv fluids and zofran to help with the nausea. We had to wake her every couple of hours, but she responded well. After a good long nap, she perked up enough to eat and was very happy to find out she could have all the jello and chicken noodle soup that she wanted, and that the pediatric unit is stocked with over 200 movie choices for her to pick from.

We are home now and she doesn't really like that she can't rough house for a few days. And, I am making her take naps because she doesn't realize that she is sleepy because she is still recovering. We will see the family doctor Thursday afternoon and hopefully get an "all clear." But at least I know she will have a full recovery and she is getting back to her old self again.

I am grateful that she is ok. I hate being the mom whose kid is so sick she cannot wait in the ER waiting room to be seen. Hopefully, we won't be doing that again any time soon.

Dirt Under the Fingernails, and Other Life Lessons

2009-07-02T15:31:00.011-05:00

Obviously by my previous post you can see that time has just flown by around here. We are now in July, and my poor flower garden has been neglected up until this week.

I have a tiny garden budget each year to add flowers and such to my yard, so I tend to stick with perennials that will come back year after year. I know some people prefer annuals and redesign their gardens every year, but honestly I don't have the time or budget allowance for that. So this week I went to Lowe's to see what plants they had on sale (since it is later in the planting time, we got some good deals), and to our local nursery for my annual mulch delivery (yes, I realize I am 3 months late...better late than never). This week, and this coming weekend, we will be expanding our current flower bed by quite a bit. I have this picture in my head of what my house will look like in another 5-8 years surrounded by deep, lush perennial beds. Let me tell you, I have learned to dream big and take it in small steps.

I have learned a lot from my flowers, and the dirt around my house.

Lesson #1: There are no mistakes that cannot be corrected with a little effort. I have placed plants and completely underestimated the growth rate of it and the plants around it. I have divided and spread out plants that ended up to close for good healthy growth. I have relocated plants that do not thrive in the original place for lots of reasons; too much or too little sun or water in a particular spot is a big reason for me to move stuff around.

Lesson #2: Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, color, and budgets. I have spent as little as 60 cents on plants from the clearance aisle and seen them blossom with a little tender care to rival a plant that cost me $25. I have discovered beautiful little gems in my tiny hostas that grew to 3 feet across. A small packet of seeds for shasta daisies that were sprinkled into a corner just to see what would happen, and they become a bright spot in an afternoon shadow. My all time favorite flower, my black-eyed-susans are slowly spreading and filling in sweeps of what used to be bare spots and they don't seem to mind that we have hard clay instead of great soil.

Lesson #3: Dirt and a garden hose makes the best play toys for kids and grown ups alike. Dirt, water, sunshine, shovels... Need I say more?

Lesson#4: Time really does heal quite a bit. Hail damage or tornado weather? Beaten down plants will reach for the sun and damage is soon replaced with new growth. Too much or too little water for a while? Wilted leaves will recover after proper proportions are restored.

Lesson #5: Reading the directions really will save time and money in the long run. Shade plants placed in full sun won't thrive. Full sun plants placed in the shade tend to look pitiful.

Lesson #6: Flower beds brimming with riots of color make for a pleasant place to sit and enjoy the quiet of a lazy summer afternoon. But, it takes time, planning, and energy to get there.

Lesson #7: Weeds and pests are inevitable, and roses have thorns. It takes ongoing work to keep the beauty from being overtaken by a small pest or weed problem. It is easier to maintain if the weeds are pulled out as they crop up than to wait until they over run the garden.

Lesson #8: Maintaining a flower garden is a family affair, and gives time to talk and just be together. Kids help pull weeds, pick flowers , and dig holes for new plants. Life is explored at hand, and they can see the cause and effect principles of life at their finger tips. I think that as an adult I need to be reminded of how simple these lessons really are.

Lesson #9: A $2 pack of petunias can keep kids busy for 2 hours. For my love of perennials, I buy annuals too. These are turned over to my youngest to "fill in where they will look pretty." No rules, no planning on mama's part. I am meticulous where I place perennials because they will come back year after year. Petunias and impatients are happy little flowers that will last for a season, and I let the kids be in charge of them. This also makes it easier to get kids to help water and weed the garden later because they want to keep "their flowers" healthy and strong.

Lesson #10: There are no set rules. My garden looks different than my neighbors'. It makes me happy. I can play with color and texture, and the look is unique to my garden. I pick flowers because they make me smile.

My garden so far is a collection of roses, hostas, black-eyed-susans, shasta daisies, a bleeding heart, bushes, and trees. This week, we have added daylilies, yellow coriopsis, cone flowers, a butterfly bush, more hostas, a clematis, and a few other little perennials that didn't have names on them but they were pretty.

Still Here

2009-06-16T18:37:00.005-05:00

Has it really been so long since I posted? I guess it has. Despite evidence from this blog, we are still here. Busy summer days, but I wonder sometimes where the time has gone... Some days I think I spend too much time wasted on stuff that doesn't really matter. Then I have other days that I wonder where the time went.

OK, here's a small scoop:

Mom was here for a visit off and on for several weeks. She got to come stay with us, then go to her mom's, then back home, back here, and then home again. She racked up some serious flyer points on the airlines. While she was here, we joked that we were attempting to stimulate the economy by a little shopping, and eating lunches out several days. Most of the time, we just hung out here.

Truman, our new little toy poodle puppy, and Teddy, mom's puppy (and Truman's litter mate), have kept us on our toes. Potty training two puppies is not easy work. I will be taking Teddy to mom next week and I will miss him. Truman jumped off the guest room bed a few weeks ago and broke his back leg. After surgery to put a rod and pin in his leg, he is still recovering. He will see the vet Tuesday for a follow up xray, and if he is all healed, we will be able to let him run and play again. I have to admit that he is pitiful spending so much time in his crate. The vet assures us that is what we have to do so he can heal properly, but I will be glad when this is over.

The kids have graduated to the next grades and are enjoying an enrichment summer school program for the month of June. Jackson is now 7th, Jacquelynne 5th, Joseph 2nd, Jenna 1st, and Julia will be in her first full year of K. Jackson is studying the Aztecs, Mayas, and Incas. Jacquelynne is studying Africa, she made a power point presentation about Kenya. Joseph is learning about Egypt. Jenna is learning about communities. Julia is learning the kindergarten routine with extra support in learning English.

The week between school getting out, and the summer school program, Jackson had his tonsils removed. He had a long recovery, but is finally feeling better. After he gets his final ok from the ENT surgeon, we will be seeing the dentist for all the kids' semi-annual check up.

We had our 6 month post adoption social worker visit on June 4. It is hard to imagine a time that Julia wasn't here, and yet she has only been home for 6 months. Her English and behavior is getting so much better. I know that I get frustrated a lot of days, but I appreciate the joy and progress we have made. We still have our challenge areas, but overall things are going pretty well.

I got an email from one of the other mom's from our China travel group. Their little guy was 4 1/2 at adoption, and he was on the same special needs list Julia was. I cannot tell you what it was about him the first time I saw his picture, but I prayed over him for a long time. Seeing him in Beijing with his new family was the biggest shock I had in China. But, seeing his picture with a family update was a HUGE blessing for me this week too. His mama shared some of the same sibling attachment issues that we have been going through, but overall a good transition. It seemed like she could have been talking about us. God's timing is always perfect, and once again He used a picture of this precious little boy to remind me that He is in control. And, if I will get my head out of the day to day and look at the big picture, He gives me a glimpse of how far we have come.

Today, I checked on a few blogs that I enjoy reading. I feel for the frustration and pain, and the very long WAIT. But, even still, I am inspired and filled with hope today for all of the little ones who will soon be coming home to their forever mamas and forever daddies.

God is Good

2009-04-02T20:46:00.004-05:00

It has been a while since I posted. We have had a busy couple of weeks. We are still getting over sickness and fevers. I am focused on school work. I started as a consultant for Mary Kay cosmetics. And, we have a new addition coming home with us this Saturday. Whew.

OK, to start off with, Fever. I. dislike. fevers. Especially when it is my kiddos that are sick. Poor Joseph started with it. 4 and a half days of alternating Tylenol and Motrin, and he is finally better. The first day Joseph was fever free, Jackson started with it. This morning, Jackson went to the doctor and we were told it is tonsillitis. 10 days of antibiotics, and a visit to an ENT in two weeks to discuss removing tonsils, yuck. Jackson started feeling better today, but at bedtime, Jacquelynne showed a 101.2 fever. Oh my. Please make it stop!!! 3 down, I am not betting against the other two having it before the month is out.

School is going well. I love grad school. That may make me a total geek, but I do. I love it. It is fun, stimulating, and applicable to real life. My current class is even online, so I can work around the rest of my crazy schedule.

Last week I signed up as an independent consultant for Mary Kay. I sold Mary Kay years ago, and I like the company. Extra money is a good thing.

And, yes, you read it right above, we get a new addition on Saturday. It is the furry, four footed kind, with a curly coat of hair and a soft wet nose. :-) I'm getting a toy poodle!!! His name is Truman, and he is incredibly cute. I will actually have his brother for a few months until I can get him to my mom for her birthday. (Don't worry, she already knows, we just can't get him there earlier). I'll take him to her house when I go in June for her birthday. I have wanted a lap dog for a long time. I still love Max, but at 65 pounds, he is NOT a lap dog, he just thinks he is. He is just a really spoiled big baby. It should be fun to introduce them.

It is crazy busy around here. But a good busy. I love it. God is good. All the time, He is good.
Have a great week!

Back To School for Me (Again)

2009-03-17T21:02:00.003-05:00

Classes started again this week. It seems like I am stopping and starting classes all the time. I am a third of the way through my master's program, and this new class is one more step towards being done. Off to study some more.....

Joubert Syndrome is Confirmed

2009-03-12T16:16:00.004-05:00

Just a quick note to say Julia's Joubert Syndrome diagnosis is confirmed. I heard from the doctor that her MRI is characteristic of Joubert Syndrome. We gave permission for this doctor to forward her MRI to another doctor out of our area that specializes in Joubert Syndrome. We had done basic research on this before the adoption and this was in her paperwork from China, so is isn't a shock to us. It is a relief to have the doctors here agree and now we can move forward with her care. Basically, she will have extra tests done to check her kidney and liver functions as she grows, and if they notice any changes, we will go from there. Also, we will have to follow up with some physical and occupational therapy to help her master large motor skills. Other than that, she is a healthy, happy six year old.

Update on the MRI, and other "stuff"

2009-03-09T09:15:00.005-05:00

Thank you for the kind thoughts and prayers for Julia (and for my peace of mind). I am happy to report that she came through just fine. Now all I have to do is patiently wait for the doctor to call with the results (Hmmm...I think I have mentioned that I am not the most patient person in the world). We are really expecting to just confirm what we have already been told about her diagnosis, but it will be nice to have a definitive answer.

The kids are all off to school and I have just a few more days with my mom here before she heads off to her mom's house. I have decided that having a retired mom is a pretty good deal. In her "career life" she was a teacher so she came to visit for long trips in the summer. Now that she is living the "retired life" she can come whenever. Pretty good for me. So she will be here for a few more days and then drive to spend time with her mom. Saturday, they will both be back here and my grandmother will get to meet Julia for the first time.

We have had a pretty good visit so far. We have enjoyed being lazy and just hanging out at the house. The kids have enjoyed her reading to them and just spending time together. It was a little awkward the first day mom arrived and Julia ran off the school bus excited to see her, gave her a hug, and asked, "where's Grandpa?" Since I don't know how to say "he's in heaven" we settled for "he's not here." She seemed ok with it, and seems very happy to have her grandmother's attention.

This past Saturday, I found out that my friend Heather was in town to visit her parents, so we got together Saturday night for the oh so exciting grocery store run. This just might permanently stick me in the boring as mud category, but yes, we multi-task by visiting and shopping at the same time. Some people shop for clothes, we shop for groceries and laundry soap. This was my semi-annual stock up shopping, so it was nice to have extra hands. Mom, Heather, and I hit both WalMart and the grocery store, and I ended up with 2 carts at each store. Fortunately Scott was ready to help put things away when we got home. I've been doing these semi-annual stock up trips for several years. I just might have to break down and do it 3 times a year instead of 2. My kiddos are getting bigger, and I am getting older, and 4 carts in one night about did me in. Laundy soap, paper products, shampoo and such adds up quick.

That's about all around here. Hope you have a great week!
-E

Prayers Please

2009-03-03T10:28:00.004-06:00

Julia's MRI is scheduled for this Thursday. She will have to be put to sleep for it, and we have NO IDEA if she has any history with anesthesia. Anyway, this is to confirm her original diagnosis from China so we can proceed with her care. So, if you would, please say a prayer for her this week. Thanks.

Pipe Dreams vs. Goals

2009-03-02T09:05:00.007-06:00

Every so often my brain kicks into overdrive as I evaluate where I was, where I am, and where I am heading. This is where I have been this week. For many years I have kept an ongoing list of things to do before I die, and things I have already accomplished. These lists are sometimes in my head, but often written down in little notebooks that end up all over my house. I love to plan. I love to think strategically about how I will get from where I am to where I want to be. I keep 1 year, 3 year, and 5 year plans in the back of my head. These are my goals. I work towards them. I make progress, and I fall back, and I readjust my goals to real life. For the most part, I know where I am and where I want to be, and what it will take to get there.

There are goals for every aspect of my life (marriage, kids, education, career, finances, etc.). These goals include giving my children the best possible education and opportunities for the future that I can, but do not stop with my children, or my husband. It saddens me to think back at when I was so wrapped up with raising kids that I could not see past the toddler stage. But honestly, there was a time in my life when my only priority was making sure dinner was on the table and diapers were changed. Maybe it is because I am getting older and my kids are getting older, but as much as I want to devote to raising intelligent, productive kids into productive adults, that is not all. At the end of the day there has to be something left of me in order to draw the energy to keep going. One of the ways that I try to balance "me" in my attempt to not forget who I am or why I am here, is setting goals. It is so easy for me to get lost in the day to day activities of life.

But, before I could set goals and work to accomplish them, I had to understand the difference between a goal and a pipe dream. I know a lot of people with pipe dreams. I had a lot of them, for many years. For me a pipe dream is like a wish on a star. It is something that would be really nice, and I would like to get there, but it is either 1) not realistic, or 2) I talk about it but don't bother to make the effort to accomplish it. On the flip side, goals are 1) measured by a set of priorities, and 2) something I actively work towards.

Goals are different for everyone. If I ask 100 different people what their highest goals in life are, I would wager I'd get 100 different answers (that is not a scientific statistic, just my opinion). I would also guess that many people would confuse day to day tasks with life goals. When I look at individuals and how they invest their resources, their goals and the value they place on their priorities shine through.

Over the years, I think I have gotten better at determining the difference between my own pipe dreams and life goals. I don't want to be one of those people who looks back a hundred years from now and realize I squandered the time I had. Of all the resources at my disposal, some are for now and some are to be developed for future use. These resources include but are not limited to: time, money, education (formal and life lessons), relationships, inspiration and creativity.

So how do I measure my goals to make sure they are realistic and worth working towards? First and foremost I have to set those priorities. The one true measure of any goal or priority in my life is whether or not it will glorify God. Everything I do in this life, I want for His glory instead of my own. This focus will automatically eliminate a lot of pipe dreams that just aren't worth my time and energy thinking about. This also eliminates my need to make others happy or be what someone else determines I should be. I cannot be responsible for anyone else's happiness. Besides, happiness is fickle, it comes and goes depending on the environment and situation at the time. Life is full of ups and downs and spending precious resources trying to be up all the time or keep others up is just a huge waste of my time and energy. There is a better alternative to happiness, it is called peace, and it can only come from the God who created us. John 14:27 (NIV) states "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives." This kind of peace holds firm int he middle of a storm. This is the peace that promises spring after a long harsh winter. This is peace that comes from surrender to something greater and bigger than oneself.

So, after setting goals that I can realistically accomplish, I have the responsibility to work towards them. Remember part 2 of the goals? If I don't actively work towards it, it is only a pipe dream. Settling for the status quo just isn't me. Just because things have been done a certain way in the past doesn't mean that I have to continue to do them that way. If the current path and daily tasks aren't moving me towards a specific goal, it is time to 1) re-evaluate if the goal is still worthwhile, and if so 2) change the daily tasks onto a path that leads to the goal. This is where I tend to get stuck and extremely frustrated. I see where I am, how far away from the goal I am, get frustrated, and the lazy side of my brain whispers that I have to give up on my goals. Wake up call, little voice. If the goal is still worthwhile, I change the tasks, and I can still achieve the goal.

Many times over the years I've changed my timetable of what I think I should have already accomplished. But, I am making progress. There are a lot of things that I have already completed, and many more still to be done. So this week I have spent evaluating where I was, where I am, and where I want to be.

Am I exactly where I want to be? No, but I am moving in that direction.
Can I see where I want to be? Oh yes.
Is it realistic? I think so.
Will it satisfy everyone else around me? Nope, but oh well.
Will it honor and glorify God? I think so.
Will it contribute to raising these kiddos into intelligent, articulate, contributing members of society? I think so.
Is it worth investing my resources into it? Yes.
Am I stuck wishing on a star for a pipe dream, or waiting for someone else to do it for me? Not anymore.

This is me. I am still becoming. And if you made it to the end of this rediculously long, rambling post, congrats. I wish for you a clear set of your own goals and the energy to accomplish them.

5 School Conferences, 3 Schools, 2 Days, and 1 Elementary Economics Lesson

2009-02-27T14:53:00.006-06:00

It's that time of year again. It was Student Led Conference time. That is really just a fancy way of saying that the kids get to bring the parents to school and show off how much they have learned so far this year. The teachers spend a lot of time prepping the kids and preparing a portfolio of their work and mini stations to let the kids show off. I really enjoy it. They all have samples of work that were done at the very beginning of school and samples from current work. I love to see the progression of how far they have come in just a few short months.

This past week, we of course had 5 conferences at 3 schools, on 2 different days. Not too bad as long as we stay on schedule and don't get behind. Monday night it was middle school night. Jackson and Scott went and Jackson said that he really enjoyed showing dad what his schedule looks like in real life. He is over half way done with 6th grade. Wow. Time flies. Tuesday, Scott was out of town and I had the 4 remaining elementary school conferences at two different schools. I started with Julia's at one school at 4pm, and then Jenna, Joseph, and Jacquelynne at the other school. By the time we made it home it was 8pm (a half hour after bed time) and every one was tired and a bit grumpy. But, they all seemed to have a blast showing off their work. Each child had between 30-45 minutes and we went table to table in each class completing little activities as a sample of their regular learning. The kids did great and I appreciate the hard work the teachers did. Of course I know my kids are great, but it was so nice to hear them praised in by their teachers.

By the time we made it to Jacquelynne's class, Jenna and Joseph were wearing down. Poor kids, this was done after a full day of school, and it happened to be on the same day my mom flew in for a visit, so they had used up all their energy earlier. Jenna spent Jacquelynne's conference time on my lap at each station, resting her head on my shoulder. After they were all done, we still had to swing by the PTA book fair. Jacquelynne had some of her spending money, and she wanted books. Joseph and Jenna had already spent theirs, and they didn't understand why I wouldn't just buy more books for them. It took a bit of time for Jacquelynne to select her books, and estimate the tax so she could make sure she could cover the bill, but she did great, and didn't complain. She is such a wonderful young lady. She selected her final purchases and stood in line to check out all on her own. She paid her bill, and we were finally done.

Oh yeah, did I mention that while she was selecting her books, I stood by the register with Jenna and Joseph crying into the hem of my sweater because they didn't have spending money? They didn't like my answer that they had already spent theirs and that Jacquelynne had saved hers for this book fair. Kindergarten/First Grade Economics 101: If you spend your hard earned $$$ at Toys R Us, you can't buy books at the book fair. The Bank of Mom does not issue credit. Of course the school principal and other moms around me smiled sympathetically and nodded in agreement that budgeting is hard to learn sometimes.

We all made it home, and bedtime soon followed. They were all down by 9 (an hour and a half late) and mommy was off to bed too. Despite our meltdowns at the end, they did a great job. I am so proud of them and all they have learned so far this year.

Goals, Software, and a Couple "B" words (Budgets and Blogs)

2009-02-17T20:55:00.007-06:00

This year I have tried a few new things to help me stay on track of finances here at the funny farm. Seeing how our economy has tanked in the past year has been frightful, and I am thankful for the steps we began taking years ago. We have been refining our finances for the past 4 years or so. There were many times when it seemed difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is coming along. Also, I have found some really great (free or really cheap) resources along the way.

For a long time we ran our budget using excel and it worked well. It was very basic, and I still keep some of my info in excel documents just to have it handy in one place. This past January I started using Microsoft Money Plus and I am now a HUGE fan of it. I admit it was frustrating to figure out how to set up all the little features, and I still fiddle with it now and then. But, it has been great to see what categories can still be trimmed, or need to be expanded.

When we first got married, I read a book about budgeting by Larry Burkett. I cannot remember the name of the book, I just remember that it was way to complicated and I overspent the first week and then felt guilty, and I stopped all together. Since then, we have tried different methods of managing cash flow, but it seemed that I was spending hours on end trying to plan for the unexpected. Didn't work so well. About 4 years ago, we found a way that both Scott and I could understand and use easily to manage cash flow. The excel spreadsheets were born out of the fact that I was too cheap (and broke) to buy expensive software for it. Since that time, I have learned that the word budget is actually a really good word, and even better if used properly (unlike my early attempts). I have come to enjoy seeing our financial picture improve over the years, and I am excited to be able to plan better for the future. We have learned to really determined needs and wants, and we save for big expenses. Of course we have our set backs, and the term "emergency fund" seems to create little emergencies (like a $700 repair bill on my car last month), but overall my budget is my friend. And with the help of free online resources we are on our way to a debt free life.

The other thing I have found this year has been personal finance blogs. Just like I still garner encouragement from adoption blogs, and large family blogs, I am now building a small list of personal finance blogs that encourage me to stay on track with our goals. One of my favorites so far has been "Budgets are Sexy" (see the link on the side under Blogs I follow). This is written anonymously by "J. Money" and I found him originally from MSN Money's Smart Spending Blog (another really good resource). As I find some that I really enjoy, I will add them to the list on the side. I hope that these resources are helpful to you as well.

Till next time.
E

I finally did it....and it WORKS!

2009-02-10T16:38:00.004-06:00

I planned meals for an entire month, printed the menu, and we are actually staying on the schedule. This is a super easy way of planning and grocery shopping that I got from Jillienne (click here for the link to her post). In a nut shell, every night has a theme and a pre-set side item. Then in each category, make a list of 4-6 different entrees that go with that theme. Throw the whole thing onto an excel spreadsheet, and then at the bottom of the page add a monthly shopping list. Planning the meal list took less than 10 minutes. Compiling the shopping list and checking what I have on hand took about 45 minutes. So in less than 1 hour I have a month worth of meals planned, and posted on a spreadsheet for everyone to see.

I broke down the shopping list by how items are stored or found in the grocery store so I can stock up on items that I need several times during the month. The shopping list has one column for weekly items, one column for meats, one column for shelf stable pantry items, and one for produce and frozen veggies, and one for dairy. After I print off my menu/shopping list I sit and check off which items are on hand, and I know which items I need to pick up for this week or for the rest of the month. This way I can check to see what is on sale and try to get the right amounts when they are on sale.

In planning the meals I could see at a glance which meals would have left-overs for me to use in a different meal later in the week so everything is used efficiently. For example, on the weeks we have a roast chicken on Sunday, we boil the left over anyway to make broth and use the remaining meat for a casserole or soup later on in the week. Also, I planned meals according to how much prep time is available on each weeknight. Evenings that are typically more rushed because of school and work schedules have super easy prep meals, and days where we have more time, we have more in depth meals.

I did this up 3 weeks ago, and it has made dinner time so incredibly easy, I could just kiss Jillienne for the idea. Even the kids love the plan. They like to know what will be for dinner ahead of time, and they can easily see when their favorite meal is coming up on the schedule. Scott and I don't have to stare into the pantry wondering what to make for dinner anymore, and since I can see at a glance what is coming up the next day I can get meats pulled out of the freezer the night before.

Dinner time got a whole lot smoother here at the funny farm. This is working so well that I now have planned out 6 weeks, and keep an ongoing shopping list of items I can stock up on and know they will be used in the right amount of time to eliminate waste. So, if you plan on stopping by for dinner, here you go:

Mondays: Chinese Food (I am learning so it is not great, but Julia gets happy when she sees it so it is totally worth my effort)
Tuesdays: casseroles
Wednesdays: Soups in the crock pot
Thursdays: Italian / Pastas
Fridays: Mexican
Saturdays and Sundays: Homestyle (roast chicken, meatloaf, meatballs, cooking the grill, etc)

Till next time,
E

Counting My Blessings

2009-02-09T16:59:00.005-06:00

Throughout our entire adoption process, we have been asked many questions about how we are doing. Ever since we arrived home from China, we have been asked how she is doing with the change, and how all five kids are adjusting to each other. I have this standard response, "She/They are doing awesome."

For those in the adoption community, you can probably understand that it is difficult to answer this question sometimes during the initial adjustment time. I have read and read about the trauma of change, and about the stages of adjustment for an older child. Let me be the first to say that I have had to draw on that pre-adoption education more times than I thought I ever would. However, I am afraid that my "awesome" response does not do justice to my children.

You see, I mean it when I say that they are doing awesome. Are things perfect? No. Is this the hardest adjustment we have had to cope with when adding a new child? Maybe. Are there really THAT many levels of grief, trauma, adjustment, and attachment? OH Baby, YES!!!

These past few months have stretched me past what I thought I could be as a mom. It has been difficult, and heartbreaking to see my daughter grieve. It has been frustrating to deal with the red tape. It has been comical to begin to see just how many idioms in the English language are really quite ridiculous if you take them literally; Amelia Bedelia anyone??? It has been down right irritating to hear comments of "Now, why would you do something like that?" and "Aren't 4 kids enough?" Once again, God has taught me more about the love He has for us, through the gift of my children.

I love adoption. I love the promise that God makes that He will not leave us as orphans. I love the scripture that promises a hope and a future. But, this is tough work right here, getting to the promise. And, we have a long way to go as we evolve into the family that He wants for us to be.

I have seen with my own eyes how much I have taken for granted all my life. I have celebrated when my child trusted me enough to feed her again, that she walked away from a half a plate of food because she was full. I never thought I'd have to earn that level of trust. My other kids learned it so early, from the day they were born, and I took it for granted. I celebrated when I got my first spontaneous hug and kiss from Julia because she wanted to show me that she loved me. I don't remember having to earn the other kids' love. I love all of my children as much as I thought was possible, but now I can appreciate their love for me in return. I took for granted that my kids would snuggle with me as we watch a family movie. Now I celebrate that Julia wants to snuggle with me too. I rejoice that she allows me to comfort her when she is sad, or lonely.

I thought I knew what family meant. I thought I knew how to love unconditionally, without the expectation of love expressed in return. How wrong I was. I am so thankful to have the opportunity to open my eyes to the miracle of how God is developing this family into what He wants us to be.

Julia has endured a greater trauma than most people will ever face. Even though we know what she has gained, she has had to give up everything she knew to gain all we can give to her. And top it all off with learning a new language at the age of 6. Jackson, Jacquelynne, Joseph, and Jenna have learned about poverty and abundance, and the meaning of losing parents at an early age. They have battled fears that most children in their circle of friends have never had to consider. After all, if Julia could be orphaned, could they? These five kids are amazing. Their capacity to love and accept each other without reservation is astounding.

Please don't misunderstand me, this is tough. We are this family, and yet we are still becoming. And, even though my answer to "How are you doing?" may sound too easy, it it true from the bottom of my heart. They are doing awesome. We are doing awesome. I am blessed to have each and every one of my 5.

Even though we have a long way to go, especially with the language barrier, I am treasuring every moment. I don't want to take any of it for granted.

25 Random Things About Me...

2009-01-29T14:15:00.004-06:00

Well, I was tagged to do this on Facebook, and it seemed fun. So here you go...

1. I am married to my high school boyfriend, and I am still in love with him.
2. We have 5 terrific kids.
3. I have been to the Taj Ma Hal.
4. I grew up in the D.C. area and took for granted that I could go to the Smithsonian any time I wanted to. Now I miss it.
5. I have climbed the Great Wall of China, and been to the Temple of Heaven and the Forbidden City.
6. I still have my 2 best friends from childhood, and I like them more now as grown women than I thought possible.
7. Holding my oldest son as a newborn taught me more about God's amazing love for us than any Sunday School class ever did.
8. I am proud of my "little" sister, and the woman that she is today.
9. I work 3 nights a week 6pm - 6am so I can be with my kids during the week.
10. I like my husband now better than I did before we got married, and he is a terrific hubby and father.
11. I am proud of my mom and all that she has accomplished since dad died.
12. I have the greatest in-laws any woman could ask for.
13. I went to the Berlin Wall the June after it came down, and brought home little pieces of it.
14. I love to travel internationally.
15. I plan on filling up my passport (and Scott's) with travel visas and stamps before they expire.
16. I enjoy grad school, and learning.
17. I read the Wall Street Journal online every day.
18. I like my coffee with milk and splenda.
19. My dream cruise would be to Antarctica.
20. Green plants do not survive long at my house. I have a very brown thumb.
21. One day I'd like to get a PhD.
22. I am currently working on a Master's Degree in Public Affairs.
23. I believe that everyday people can make a huge impact to change our world for the better, more so than any big celebrity or politician ever could.
24. I plan on "retiring" early so I can spend my time working to deliver international humanitarian relief after my kiddos are grown.
25. I am blessed.

5 Kids Out the Door By 8am into the Cold

2009-01-28T07:55:00.005-06:00

5 kids
5 breakfasts
Lots of clean teeth
10 clean hands
4 brushed heads of hair (Joseph still has his buzz cut)
10 socks in place
10 shoes over socks
5 backpacks cleaned out and ready to go
1 lunchbox packed (Julia isn't quite ready for school lunches yet so we send what we know she will eat)
5 coats
5 warm knit hats
10 gloves
2 noses pressed to the window "on lookout" as the others finish with coats
1 Daddy ready for work
1 car warmed up to drive kids to the bus stop
........all leads to

...

...

1 Mommy enjoying 1 cup of coffee and a moment of silence.

Happy Chinese New Year!!

2009-01-26T08:55:00.001-06:00

One of my favorite new quotes from our China trip....

2009-01-06T08:52:00.003-06:00

"The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten."

Just a little random thought for the day.
:-)

New Pictures from the Funny Farm...

2009-01-04T20:03:00.004-06:00

Want to see what happens when 5 children pile on a loveseat for mom to take one picture?

I actually took 30 pictures. Most of them look something like this...

I never claimed we were perfect....

This one became my new desktop background picture...

OK, so we got 2 good ones out of thirty...

And, just because they are so darn cute, here are my little 6 year old "twins."

Till next time...

:-)

Blog Maintenance for the New Year

2009-01-01T15:26:00.005-06:00

Happy New Year, it is the time of the year when I try out new organization techniques, today it is on the blog.

In order to make an attempt at simplifying my life, and keeping track of my random thoughts, I finished cross posting my old Lots of Kids post onto this blog as well. In case you think it looks a little weird, I did it for me. Like an old journal I occasionally go back to see what I was up to at different times in the past. Since my posts on the two sites are different, I wanted to make it easier for me to look back on one forum, instead of two. I am still trying to figure out the best method of keeping organized, so please bear with me. This is my solution for now.

OK, really, I am going to go get pictures of all 5 kids together!!!

Home Management with Lots of Kids...

2009-01-01T14:41:00.003-06:00

FYI: I posted at Lots of Kids with our homemangement tips. Here's a copy:

Divide and Conquer

Hello all. I am happy to report that Scott and I are back home from China with our new daughter and everyone is making a pretty good adjustment. We learned a lot on our trip, and there was one night at dinner when it occurred to me that this was what it was like to only have one child. It has been so long since we only had to get one child ready to go it felt kind of odd.

It was so nice to return home to be with the other kids, and it felt good to get back into our home schedule and routine. We have now been home for one week, and it has been a week of discovery in so many ways. One of them is how Scott and I work to accomplish the task of managing the house. Running a house with lots of children is a tough job. I can understand how people with smaller families can be overwhelmed by the thought of keeping everything running smoothly. Well, here is a little peek into our system.

First of all, Scott and I both contribute to our home management. We both work outside the home, on opposite schedules, so we do have to "juggle" a little, but it all runs pretty smooth. Our system can be called Divide and Conquer the Chaos. We each have our own tasks, and the kids chip in as well. Each child can contribute based on their age and ability.

Food: I do the main grocery shopping, maintaining a pretty good level in the pantry and the freezer. Scott stops at the store for between-main-shopping-trips for things like milk, eggs, or special items for dinner. He can stop on the way home from work, and he is able to focus on the task at hand without getting distracted by the weekly sales and specials. I evaluate the weekly sale ad and stock up on our staple items when they are on sale. We maintain an on going grocery list on a magnetic list on our refrigerator door. We all check off items as we are running low. This helps make sure we don't run out of necessities at inconvenient moments.

Laundry: Laundry at our house got a whole lot more exciting just before we left for China. There was a long period of time when we would have 2 laundry days a week, and it was an all day affair each time. We were forced out of that routine this past year and it may be one of the best routine changes we have made in a while. We were without a dryer for several months, and it forced us to change the way we manage the laundry pile. We had established a routine of 2 loads of laundry each day so that we had enough time for the items to hang dry. This system also made sure that we didn't really get backed up on laundry. Well, the exciting part is the brand new super capacity front-loading washer and dryer set that we bought before we left for China. This new set washes and drys wonderfully fast, and we are still keeping up with laundry daily. Now, we still wash a lot of clothes, but in smaller doses so it is not overwhelming. When life throws us a change, we can skip one or even two days, and then catch up relatively quickly. I *heart* the new washer and dryer. Scott does the bulk of the laundry for us, and the children are tasked with putting their own clothes in their drawers.

Kitchen Patrol: This one is managed pretty equally between us. Kids must clear off their space at the table before they are excused, and the dishwasher is loaded after each meal. Snack dishes may be stacked next to the kitchen sink for a little bit, but in the dishwasher before the next meal. Generally, I do the dishes during the day while Scott is at work, and he does the dishes in the evening. I do the majority of the dinner cooking during the week, and since I work overnights at the end of the week, Scott does the cooking on the weekend. The two older kids sometimes help make lunches when they are home, but Scott and I still handle the dinner cooking.

House Cleaning: This is the part of the post where I get to say I am the luckiest woman in the world. My wonderful hubby actually relaxes by hand washing the wood floors and disinfecting bathrooms. This may sound weird to some of us, including me, but after 15 years I have just accepted this is one of his quirks that I enjoy the most. He has tried to explain it to me, and I don't get it, but I am thankful. On the weeks that he is out of town, I take over his regular cleaning routine, and I admit that scrubbing toilets is my least favorite job, EVER. But, I do *love* the results of a clean house. :-)

Bills, Bills, Bills: This one falls to me. Just like Scott relaxes by scrubbing floors, I relax by maintaining our finances. It wasn't always like this, but I have my little routine, and I like routine. I enjoy following the news, world events, and economics, Scott hates it. I get a happy little thrill to mark the statements "paid" each month. The biggest change in this over the years has been the fact that we talk about the bills and goals on a regular basis. The finance gurus are right that open communication means is a good thing.

I know that each family divides home management differently. Feel free to comment with your tips and tricks. Calming the "chaos" of a family with lots of kids is a good thing. Although really, I shouldn't say chaos. Just like businesses are big and small and managers use different techniques to run them, families are big and small and each one needs different techniques to run smoothly.

Have a blessed and organized New Year.

(This was originally posted at the 4 or More: Lots of Kids blog)

Day 14: Dec 25, Christmas Day

2008-12-30T11:42:00.006-06:00

By crossing the International Date Line on our way home, we ended up with a 37 hour day, and arrive home Christmas night. Here, Julia waits in front of our United flight that will take us from Beijing to Chicago.

By the time we reached home, we were all exhausted, and I didn't get pictures of the 5 kids together for the first time. I was too busy hugging and kissing on all 5 of my kiddos. We didn't get home until after 11pm, and after unloading the car and showing Julia the house, we were up until after 3am.

None of us are really back on a good sleep schedule yet, but the kids are a lot closer than Scott and me. Jet lag is much worse coming home than going on the trip. Oh well.

As of today, Dec 30, all 5 kids are getting along. Of course we have rivalries and territory issues, but all in all, all 7 of us are adjusting.

Next time, I promise a picture of all 5 kiddos together.

Day 13: Dec 24, Visa Day

2008-12-30T11:23:00.004-06:00

Julia now has an American IR3 Visa in her Chinese passport. This means that she will be a U.S. Citizen as soon as she arrives in the U.S. Our final hurdle is complete. In less than 24 hours, we begin the long journey home.

Day 12: Dec 23, Consulate Appointment

2008-12-30T11:10:00.005-06:00

Our paperwork was delivered to the American Consulate Tues Dec 23 to get Julia's Visa to come home. We had to stay in our hotel room during the appointment time just in case they had to call with a problem. Julia used this time to dress up in her gold princess dress.

We did not get a call from the Consulate's office, so all must be well.

Day 11: Dec 22, Guangzhou, Medical Visit

2008-12-30T10:47:00.005-06:00

Monday Dec 22 was Julia's medical appointment to get the appropriate medical forms to submit with her US Visa application. After our appointment, we went to a local park to play, and had a dinner cruise at night.

The White Swan Hotel does a lot of adoptive family business, and they delivered each of us a special Adoption Barbie Doll (Barbie with a Chinese baby). Julia did her best to get us to open it up, but we are saving it for her as a keepsake.

Our hotel from the dinner river cruise...

Guangzhou from the cruise...

The parks here are set up for the whole community to exercise. Young and old can complete a circuit for strength training, cardio, and flexibility. Exercise is an everyday portion of Chinese culture, and the elderly are nearly as flexible as the children.

Oh yeah, notice above the jeans, denim jacket, and pink Mary Jane shoes. This is one stylish little girl.

Day 10: Dec 21, Free day in Guangzhou

2008-12-30T10:30:00.004-06:00

This day we went on a little sightseeing and shopping expedition. Juila and Daddy were sporting new sunglasses for the occasion.

Our entire group at Memorial Hall in Guangzhou...

I didn't get pictures of the shopping center, but it was a huge, multi-story mall packed with a maze of shops about the size of a small storage shed each. Pearls, jade and silver jewelry were the specials of this trip, and we enjoyed finding a few deals for the girls.

After shopping, we met up with Julia's schoolmate and his new family for dinner at Lucy's restaurant. We let the kids share an American Fried Chicken dinner (chicken strips, french fries, and onion rings). Neither of them would eat the chicken, but they had a good time with the fries and onion rings. They had us all giggling with their dinner chatter, and clinking their apple juice drinks together before they drank. We were dining at an outside table, so when the kids were done eating, they got up and danced on the sidewalk next to us. Very cute.

Day 9: Dec 20, Guangzhou

2008-12-30T10:11:00.003-06:00

Disclaimer: Yes, I know I am a week behind in posting these and I am sorry. But really, I am just happy to be slowly catching up. :-)

We flew from Guilin to Guangzhou on the 20th. Our hotel was the White Swan Hotel, and It was absolutely beautiful. At home the kids reported that there would be a white Christmas, but here it was in the 60's, breezy, and a light jacket was all that was required.

This waterfall is in the main courtyard area of the hotel. The pond at the bottom is full of beautiful fish.

The hotel has the "Swan Room" on the ground floor, it is a very nice, clean, air conditioned play room. We spent a little time each day here playing with new friends, and meeting up with a very special old friend too. One of Julia's friends from her school was adopted by another American couple through another agency, but we were able to exchange info with them in Guilin, and met up for dinners and playtime as we both completed our adoptions.

And the pictures just wouldn't be complete without pictures of Julia's first ever plane trip.

Day 8: Dec 19, Guilin

2008-12-28T20:31:00.003-06:00

So what happens when you try and snap beautiful scenic pictures with a 6 year old??? What you cannot see is the tour group that stopped behind me to laugh and giggle which just egged her on more. Oh well. This is real life right here.

One of Guilin's famous landmarks is the elephant trunk mountain. It is naturally created and exquisite to see in person.

The highlight of today was visiting Julia's orphanage and school. I really didn't know what to expect before we went. We knew that she was found at the front gate of the orphanage, but there was so much we didn't know. It was an orphanage for disabled children, and there were many children with Downs syndrome, wheelchairs, missing limbs, and some obvious physical ailments. We found out that her foster family lived a few blocks away, and there was a market between her former home and school. The school was located inside the orphanage.

What I could never have anticipated was what happened when Julia went in the front gate. She was barely a few steps inside the gates when a nurse called her by her Chinese name. She ran to the nurse for hugs and kisses. Word spread that she had returned, and soon nurses and teachers were there calling her name and she ran to each of them with a big smile and received a hug from each. We could not understand most of the words between her and the adults that helped to raise her, but we could see love on all of their faces. The most precious gift we received this morning was to see first hand that she had been cared for, in her foster home and in her school. We didn't need an interpreter to understand as she pointed out her Mama and Baba to each adult that welcomed her.

We were greeted as honored guests, but really we were there to honor them. We had the opportunity that many adoptive parents do not get. We saw how she interacted, and all of the adults in the orphanage thanked us for adopting Julia. But, I am the one who owes a debt that I can never repay to these wonderful, loving people who loved my daughter until I could bring her home.

I am sure that most people who will read this have heard horror stories about orphanages in China, especially for disabled children. We did not experience that. What we saw was a clean, organized, maintained facility and adults who cared for our daughter. Sceptics may say that is all for show, but trust me 6 year old kids don't fake this kind of response. It wasn't rehearsed or coerced. This was love between a child and her caregivers.

And, this is a little girl who got to show off her new Mama and Baba...

Beautiful Song...

2008-12-26T14:40:00.005-06:00

Merry Christmas by Third Day is a song I heard for the first time today. I am so glad that this Christmas she is home. I will complete the travel days as I recover from jet lag and upload more pictures. But we are home safe and sound, and Julia met all her siblings on Christmas night.

Day 7: Dec 18, Julia's 6th Birthday updated with Li River Cruise pictures

2008-12-18T07:19:00.005-06:00

I wish I could share pictures today, but the connection just isn't cooperating. Sorry. (Updated with cruise pictures) We started the day with the Li River Cruise, a 5 hour boat trip to see the beautiful mountains surrounding Guilin. Then we finished off with Julia's 6th birthday dinner that we were able to share with her Chinese foster family. It was a very special privilege to meet them. She joined their family when she was only 8 months old, and was with them over 5 years. We are both so very happy to see how much she was loved and cared for. Her foster mom also explained to us what she has done over the years to help Julia compensate for her special needs. Today was a very special day indeed.

Day 6: Dec 17, Daddy and Julia Day

2008-12-18T07:14:00.005-06:00

It wasn't planned to be this way, but day 6 was Daddy and Julia's time together while Mommy was in bed recovering from traveler's tummy. :-( We had a 5 hour train ride to Guilin, where Julia is originally from. Mommy then went to bed at the hotel and Daddy and Julia had the afternoon out with David, our coordinator. Julia made out pretty good on this little outing, coming back with a panda bear purse, and lunch all over herself. :-)

Day 5: Dec 16, Adoption Day

2008-12-15T23:05:00.012-06:00

On the way to the Civil Affairs and the Notary's office to become Julia's permanent legal parents.

Julia loves her new doll. She hasn't had a doll before, and she has changed the doll's clothes many, many times already. She has us in stitches watching her teach the doll to "walk."

Waiting at the Notary's office.

She loves steps. She knows very little English, but everytime we go up and down steps we count to 10. She is getting pretty good at it.

Since our first meal together, Julia has been asking for a hamburger at McDonald's. She actually didn't eat much of the hamburger, but polished off the french fries and ice cream with gusto.

Today's checklist:

1. Complete Adoption Paperwork

2. Buy new shoes... must be pink

3. Buy a new Barbie. Forget the Chinese Barbie, she wants blond, blue eyed Barbie

4. Eat at McDonald's

We are now officially Julia's Forever Family.

Day 4: Dec 15, Gotcha Day!

2008-12-15T05:30:00.007-06:00

After all the waiting, we are finally here. Gotcha Day arrived, and Julia ran into the meeting room at full speed yelling "Mama, Baba (Daddy)." Big smiles all around. CHI has been preparing us for possible screaming and crying, but we haven't had any yet. She did ask David why her foster mother cried this morning when she left, and David explained that it was hard for her foster mom to say goodbye. Tomorrow we finalize the adoption registration documents and we will officially be her forever family.

Play time...

Watching Disney movies on the computer...

New baby doll...

On the way to the hotel...

Here we all are...

Looking at the Christmas lights outside the hotel...

Showing off her new clothes...

She loves the mirror in the elevator...

This one just might become one of my favorite pictures ever...

Till tomorrow,

Erika, the one with 5 kids.

Day 4: Dec 15, Waiting

2008-12-14T20:58:00.007-06:00

There are exactly 4 hours to go until we leave the hotel to pick up Julia. Scott is calmly sitting in a chair, reading a book. I cannot sit. I cannot read. I am a mess. I have surfed all the blogs I follow, and that only took one hour. We discovered a lovely trail by the river and took a beautiful walk after breakfast. I had the best sleep of our entire trip last night so I am physically doing well, but my mind is going a million miles an hour. The camera is charged, all 12GB of memory sticks are cleared off and ready to go. Her new backpack is ready with gotcha day gifts, and the rest of her presents and clothes are stacked on the table in our room.

Next time, I promise the photos of a lifetime. :-)

Day 3 Dec 14, Continued: This made us laugh....

2008-12-14T03:48:00.006-06:00

Today we had to load up on kid-snacks and juice boxes, so where else would we go???

Day 3: Dec 14, Nanning

2008-12-14T03:34:00.005-06:00

We arrived at our hotel to find it lit up for Christmas. The entire lobby is surrounded with mini twinkling lights , and there is even a "snow covered" house in the back. According to our coordinator, David, this is about as close to snow as Nanning sees. He said they have a green Christmas instead of a white Christmas.

David has been fabulous at making us feel welcome and answering our million and two questions.

This is the little walkway just a few steps down from our hotel. When CHI said they were putting us in nice hotels, they weren't exaggerating. The hotel in Beijing and the one here are beautiful.

This is part of the newer section of Nanning. Lots of construction in a city of 6.4 million people, but all still very beautiful.

Day 2: Beijing Dec 13, The Great Wall of China

2008-12-13T05:53:00.007-06:00

Mac's Team visited the Great Wall of China today!!! We love you Mac!!!

See the first watch tower? We climbed up to there and then turned around. Those steps really do go straight up.

We also visited the Forbidden City, and Tiannamen Square today, but the Great Wall was by far the most spectacular.

Tomorrow, we fly to Nanning...

Day 1: Dec 12, Beijing

2008-12-12T06:14:00.009-06:00

Highlights from today...

The Chinese Acrobat show:

Our tour guide, Sandy was wonderful and very knowledgeable about the city.

Drummers. We had to climb some very high steps that seemed to go straight up to get to the top of this tower. The way down was not my favorite part, but the drummers were great.

Rickshaw ride through the first part of the Hutong tour:

Lunch. All of the food so far has been very yummy.

The Temple of Heaven was quite beautiful. I can only imagine what it would be like on a bright, warm day.

This trip is a blessing in so many ways. We have had the pleasure of meeting 4 other families who are getting ready to meet their new child too. Three more families come in tomorrow.
Wow is all I can say.

Until tomorrow…

We Leave Tomorrow

2008-12-09T13:46:00.003-06:00

How many times can I check items off my list? We are packed, with just a few last minute items to throw in. We have tickets, documents, passports, documents, visas, documents, camera, documents, clothes, gifts, and did I mention documents? Hopefully all electronic gadgets will cooperate while we are there and I will be able to update this blog as we go. If not, fear not, I will add all the good stuff when we return. I am excited, exhausted, wired and worn out all at the same time. My head is spinning and I am seriously hoping for a good nap this afternoon.

Last night we had Jackson's first middle school orchestra concert. He is getting so good with his viola. I was so proud of him up there. I got to bring the new camera too and got some good shots, all zoomed in on him. Tonight, Jacquelynne has her choir concert. I am thankful that they are at least different nights, and that we are still here to see them, since we will be leaving the house at 4am to head to the airport.

God is so good. His timing is perfect.

You Never Know What Kids Will Say Next

2008-12-04T16:46:00.003-06:00

In getting ready to go to work tonight, I pulled out a top that I haven't worn in a while. Jenna promptly asked if it was a work shirt, and I said yes. She stated that she didn't remember it, and I responded that I hadn't worn it in a long time. Her response, "Well, it's a good thing it still fits."

How am I supposed to respond to that???

:-)

One More Week

2008-12-03T09:19:00.003-06:00

Well, it is almost upon us! One week from right now, I will be in an airplane on my way to meet our new daughter. Let's see, yesterday I...
... went grocery shopping to stock up the freezer and pantry before we leave so Mike and Cindy (who will be guarding the rest of the Funny Farm while Scott and I are away) will only need to pick up milk and fresh stuff while we are gone. The back of my truck looked like I was stocking a food pantry. I guess I was, Ha!
... took Cindy to the schools to make sure they had the proper contact information while we are away.
... received an email from our agency with our final itinerary and cost schedule.
... promptly drove to the bank to pick up a certified check for our expenses and overnighted it to CHI.
... let Jackson cook dinner for us because he asked if he could do it. We had homemade pizza, half cheese, half pepperoni, yum.
... looked at the suitcases in my bedroom and mentally checked off what I still need to purchase before we leave (again).
... Snuggled with my kiddos and watched a show before bedtime. I think I am missing them already.
... let my Jenna Boo sleep with me last night since Scott was away on business.

Right now, I am...
... excited beyond my ability to express in words.
... nervous, I hope she likes us.
... constantly thinking about trip details.
... so much in love with this little girl, I tear up just thinking about her.
... looking forward to 2 whole days in Beijing with my hubby sightseeing before we fly to her province.
... worried about making sure I can fit everything in the suitcases. Of course, all of her clothes and gifts will fit, I just hope I can squeeze in stuff for Scott and me.
... grateful to an awesome God, Emmanuel, Jehovah, Savior, Messiah, Great I Am, for the gift that He gave us in Jesus.
... thrilled that we get to celebrate our Savior's birth with Julia's "birth" into our family this year.
... humbled that God in all His infinite wisdom chose us to parent these 5 beautiful children.
... sad that in order for our new daughter to gain a family, she must give up everything she has known for the past 6 years.
... wondering what it will be like to see Julia in person for the first time.
... longing for the touch of her little hand in mine.
... wiping tears from my face as I write this, because that is just how all of these emotions break out of me.

10 Days Until We Leave

2008-12-01T11:55:00.003-06:00

And 15 days until we meet Julia Grace. I have given thanks until I cried, shopped until I dropped, wrapped until we ran out of tape, and just started to pack the suitcases. Oh my. We purchased plane tickets, have our visas ready, copied tons of documents, and there is still so much to be done. But ready or not we leave for Beijing Dec 10th, and arrive there on the 11th. We will be arriving back home on Christmas night. I still cannot believe that we can do the countdown in days, not weeks or months. Yahoo!!!!

On this side of the world, we had snow this weekend and the kids made a snow fort in the backyard. They didn't come in until their teeth chattered. Winter is soon upon us, and the first snow of the season is always a treat. It makes for an extra nice Thanksgiving treat when our first snow arrives on a long weekend.

Till next time :-)

Happy Birthday Dad

2008-11-25T15:26:00.001-06:00

I miss you.

Just in case you are curious...

2008-11-25T13:35:00.005-06:00

I posted over on Lots of Kids today. Here's a copy:

Bittersweet Changes at the Funny Farm:

These past few weeks have flown by at warp speed. We received our official referral phone call at the end of Oct, even though we knew who our daughter was because we picked her from the waiting child list. Friday, we had our confirmed travel authorization and US consulate appointment, and we purchased our international plane tickets to pick up our new daughter in China. Scott and I will be leaving Dec 10 and arriving back home late Christmas night with our precious new daughter. The kids are all excited, and I just cannot wait to go get her. But, there is also a little sadness as I prepare to leave 4 kiddos behind. I think I am missing them already.

So, how do we prepare for the holidays and make sure it is all done before we leave? Good question. The answer seems like a comedy bit. First, I should disclose that we decorate like crazy for Christmas: full size Christmas trees in each bedroom, lights and garland on every bit of stair railing, a 12 foot tree in the living room, and a "winter scene" above the kitchen cabinets. It takes a good solid week to transform the house. But, before we can get to Christmas decor, there is a "fall scene" above the kitchen cabinets complete with hay bail, scarecrows and turkeys dressed like pilgrims.

Originally we thought we'd be traveling Dec 4-18, so it all needed to be done by Dec 1. Two weekends ago, we started putting up the Christmas decor, but it is not yet Thanksgiving, so I cannot take down the "fall scene" yet. This past week, our home has been caught in a home decor tornado. Christmas trees, garland, nativity sets, scarecrows, hay bales, and turkeys. It is kind of funny to look at, and I feel like we are in perpetual transition. I guess we are. This weekend, the scarecrows and turkeys will be replaced by snowmen and mini alpine trees. Thanksgiving turkey thawing in the fridge, and Christmas ham sitting in the freezer. Talk about holiday overload!

Christmas presents to and from family are all purchased, and the final gifts will be wrapped tonight. Santa has been advised that these kiddos are having a very special Christmas this year, and that they will probably be a little bit sad Christmas morning because they will have to wait all day to see Mommy and Daddy and sister. They will meet their new sister on Christmas night, so they must have been very, very good this year to get that kind of special gift. And, Santa knows that Mommy and Daddy will be very weary from traveling for 24 hours to get home in time to have Christmas with all five children together. Santa's elves have assured us that Santa understands, and he is sending his very best elves to make sure all the preparations will be taken care of just like we always do and that all will be ready for Santa to arrive on time. This is a very special holiday season indeed.

As far as blogging goes, for those of you who have been following our adoption adventure, I will try to keep the Funny Farm blog updated as much as I can while we travel and adjust to our new life as a family of seven. For our faithful (and new) Lots of Kids readers, I wish you the absolute best holidays this year, whichever customs you celebrate I wish you a season of thanksgiving and joy. I just wanted to make sure I said that now because Dec will be a different kind of world wind at the Funny Farm, and I can be forgetful at times.

OK, next time, we'll talk laundry. :-)

The Big Brown Stork came to my house

2008-10-28T17:07:00.003-05:00

Patience is not my strongest attribute. Scott and I were completely tired of waiting. It was after 3:30 and the kids were home from school before the truck came, but it finally arrived. I was on the couch attempting to read a book when I saw it stop in front of the house. I must admit I was probably a sight, trying to kick off a quilt while yelling, "UPS, UPS, UPS truck!!" Scott made it down the steps from the dining room pretty fast, and he barely beat me to the door. We both met the UPS driver on the front step, as he walked up the driveway. I refrained from tackling him right there on the driveway. I was pretty impressed with myself for the level of restraint to stop and stand on the front step. We thanked him, and I had the package ripped open before we even turned around to come in the house. (Deep Breath).

We made it in the house, and pulled the precious pieces of paper out of the envelope. (Another Deep Breath). Sitting on the sofa, we looked at each page in the packet. The Letter of Seeking Confirmation was printed in Chinese and English with a big red seal on green paper. Oh, how pretty it was. Even better, were the words on it. We were officially matched with our daughter. We had to check a box stating that we would accept the referral. (Like we would say no??? No way!)

We signed all the papers and filled out the different documents, and then Joseph, Jenna, and I were off to the post office to overnight it all back to St. Louis. We made it in the post office doors just before closing time, and off went those pretty papers. Pretty, pretty, precious papers.

Wow. God's timing is still perfect.

Waiting for the Big Brown Truck

2008-10-28T11:51:00.003-05:00

I cannot read a book. I cannot take a nap. I have already done laundry, and dinner is in the crockpot. I can barely sit still to type this out. I have looked out the window 125,643 times already this morning. Our referral paperwork (adoption lingo for the official file about our new daughter) left the UPS distribution site at 7:43 am, and is currently "out for delivery." My wonderful, dear hubby is patiently working from home this morning. He is accomplishing something while he waits. I am just sitting here. As soon as this is typed I will pace some more. You know if I pace and keep looking for the truck, it will magically appear outside my window. I do solemnly promise to attempt restraint when the truck arrives. I will try very hard not to tackle the driver as she or he collects my package and gets out of the truck. I will not promise to remain in the house. How scary would it be for the driver to see me running out the front door to meet him or her as they are descending the steps of the big brown truck?

I need to get back to pacing now.... More later.

The Call

2008-10-27T14:40:00.003-05:00

This morning at 9:50 the phone rang. For the last 3 months I have been waiting for this call. Every time I would answer the phone, I would glance at the caller id and secretly wish it showed Children's Hope International. This morning, it finally did. I have read other blogs and talked with other adoptive parents about their call. I have heard many reactions, from screaming to crying, or even just plain hysteria. I have wondered what it would be like to hear the words of our consultant when it was my turn for the call.

This morning, Monday October 27, 2008 at 9:50 we entered the next step to bring our daughter home. Here is a glimpse of the call from where I was standing.

Phone ringing

Glance at the caller id: Children's Hope International

holding breath, me: "hello"

voice: "hello, may I speak with Erika?"

trying very hard to sound calm, me: "yes, this is Erika"

voice: "good morning this is Rebecca with CHI. How are you doing this morning?"

standing very still, me: "you tell me."

Rebecca: "Well you are going to be doing good. We received your seeking confirmation letter."

(not really sure what I said, but the tears were pouring and I think I retained enough thought to say thank you.)

Rebecca filled in a few more details and confirmed our address and emails so she could overnight our packet to us and email the tracking numbers. Honestly I don't remember the details except the packet will be here tomorrow morning.

(still don't know what words came out, but lots of thank yous here.)

****end the call****

Screaming, no. Crying, yes. Not a whole lot of rational thought. Just relief. I wish I could regale you with something funny or silly that I did or said. Nope. It didn't matter how long I waited and wished and planned for the call. The call came, and all the work we had done for the past 370 days was in that phone call. Our call finally came. It was perfect.

Tomorrow we will begin our next steps.

A Day at the Funny Farm

2008-10-21T18:28:00.006-05:00

Ever wonder what a typical day is like around here? Well here goes. Today I:

*Had one child home from school recovering from a fever last night,

*Got one kid out the door to the bus stop at 6:30 am,

*Got two younger kids out to the bus by 7:50 am,

*Enjoy a cup of coffee and newspaper, and explain stock market investing to 10 year old daughter,

*Cleaned the kitchen, boiled eggs for dinner salad,

*Ran the dishwasher,

*Ran two loads of laundry in the am,

*Made lunch for child at home, no more fever, yippee!

*Went to PetsMart for more kitty litter and a second litter box (mental note, NEVER run out of kitty litter), bird cage litter, bird treats, and fish food,

*Changed cat litter, and set up second litter box next to the original box so the two cats don't have to share,

*Put away clean dishes and start beans soaking for tomorrow night's dinner,

*Play card game with daughter,

*Visit with middle school child when he arrives home,

*Pick up younger kids from bus stop,

*Snack time, listen to Jenna state that she will not be eating dinner tomorrow night if I am serving beans,

*Return neighbor child's jean jacket that was found in the pile of our kids' jean jackets on the arm of the sofa,

*Check and sort the mail,

*Dinner time (simple tonight, salad with spinach, romaine, almonds, sliced egg, cheese and ranch dressing)

*Kids' shower time,

*Hunt down Halloween costumes for two youngest kids,

*Find a disaster under the girls' bunk bed (seriously, a small child could be lost under there for days) and haul in the trash sack to help get it clean,

*Haul 2 trash sacks and a full load of laundry out from under girls' bed,

*Start another load of laundry,

*Check the boys' room for garbage (they only had a half a sack) and dirty clothes,

*Take a break to type this up,

Right now it is 6:45pm. Somewhere in the day, I also got to sit and snuggle each of my three youngest (the 12 year old is "too old or that stuff" so he sits next to me while we discuss his day at school). Still on my list for today, brush kids' teeth, and put them to bed at 7:30 with a story, and then maybe I will get to sit down and call my hubby who is out of town for the night.

Tomorrow, it starts again.

*****************************************************
Here's a copy of my 4 or More: Lots of Kids post for today:

Blessed By Frugal Living:

These days, it seems that reading the newspaper or watching news on television has become scary. But some days it just makes me laugh. No, really. I sit with my cup of coffee and peruse articles online or in the paper about how families can make their dollars go farther in today's economy. These so called financial experts are recommending things that many large families, including my own, have been doing for a long time. It has been very encouraging to be reinforced by the "mainstream media" for some of the simple things that we have tried to do over the years. Now, I have not figured out how to keep my kids from having sudden growth spurts and needing longer pants, nor have they cut back on the amounts that they are eating. In fact, the older they get, the MORE they eat. But, we have found some simple ways to avoid waste if possible. My focus this year was to stretch our budget as far as possible and still provide for all our needs; and quite a few of our wants too. Our system is not perfect, but maybe one or two of our tips will be helpful to your family, or maybe it will just encourage you that you are on the best possible track. Either way, whether the economy is good or bad, living a frugal life won't hurt (after the initial lifestyle change). The easiest budget item in my control is the grocery bill.

So, here are a few things I have learned so far this year:
*We really don't NEED as much as we think we do. Once I got this through my thick skull, decisions became so much easier.
*I learned how to cook a whole chicken fryer or roaster. Yeah, I am way behind on this, and I hate to admit that I only bought boneless skinless fresh chicken for 12 years. Oh my, was that dumb. (see the next tip for more on this)
*Our family doesn't do well with leftovers. The kids say "this AGAIN??" Oh wait, that is me. OK, there are very few leftovers that I like to reheat and have for myself, so we were wasting a lot. Hmm, let's think about this, it doesn't save me money if I throw out half of it. So, I started planning completely different meals with planned left overs. For example, when I cook a chicken roaster, we have a big meal with roasted or rotisserie chicken, mashed potatoes and fixings for the first meal, then I can pull off plenty chicken to make chicken pot pie or soup for a different meal later that week.
*When I make soup, spaghetti sauce, or chili, I end up with a very big crock pot full. In the past, I would waste too much, so now, before I even serve it the first meal, I set aside half and freeze it. It isn't really leftovers 3 weeks later, right? Cook once, serve twice...I Love It!!
*Hang clothes to dry. My electric bill went down $20 per month versus last year by not using the dryer.
*Combine trips in the car. Yes, today I was out of kitty litter, and had to go out only for that, but before I left, I checked all other pet supplies, to make sure I wasn't going to have to return in two days for bird treats of fish food.
*Keep a master grocery list and check off items needed throughout the week. Oh yeah, I actually take the list with me to the grocery store now. Radical, I know.
*I add $20-50 to each week's grocery store run in order to stock the pantry with sale items. I am not disciplined enough to read the ads ahead of time, but I grab one when I hit the store. If chicken fryers are on sale for $0.79 per pound, I buy 5 and freeze the extra. I stock up and freeze or store seasonal items for use later. I plan meals around what is on hand at home, and rotate first in, first out for the pantry and freezer items too.
*We have a lot of pets... We love our pets, but they eat a lot too. So, I do the same thing with pet supplies that I do with stocking the freezer. I try to keep one on hand, and add it to the list when I open my last item (treats, bag of food, kitty litter). This way, when I find a good deal and save $3 per package of cat litter, I buy two, and rarely ever pay full price for anything.
*Swap babysitting time with the neighbors.
*Plan at home date night. Kids go to bed at 7:30 anyway, so we plan to have our couple time with homemade snacks or a carry out appetizer at home. A card game or movie rental is much cheaper than eating out or going to the movie theater.
*Look for sales on kids clothing and try to buy a season ahead for basics when they are on sale. Guess what, that cute little Gap t-shirt is just as cute on sale for $5 as it was full price for $20.
*Switch to a cheaper cell phone plan. I don't use a gazillion minutes, and I don't send text messages, why was I paying for it? I was able to cut $20 per month from my cell phone bill by going to a cheaper plan with fewer minutes.

Well, this certainly doesn't make the stock market any less volatile, nor does it make my retirement account look any bigger, but every little bit helps. Cooking at home saves a ton versus eating out, and these days every penny counts. If you have frugal tips, please leave them in the comment section, I am always looking for another way to stretch my dollars. If I could share one piece of advice with the world... Just remember, when things look scary, count your blessings. Family, Friends, Health, and the ability to do my best to care for those I love; these are all things to help me sleep well at night no matter what the stock market does.

Kindergarten is "Too Long"

2008-09-01T04:25:00.003-05:00

Jenna has been cracking us up this past week. She has had it with kindergarten already. Last Wednesday before school, she said that she wanted to stay home because "kindergarten is too long." Poor thing. School is interfering with the important stuff like play time. Well, she got her wish for a few days. Wednesday I got a call that she had developed a fever and sore throat, so she came home early. Unfortunately, the fever didn't finally leave until the middle of the night Thursday night, so she was home through Friday. In between telling me that she liked staying home to snuggle with me, she said that she wanted to go back to school. I think she decided that she would take kindergarten over an achy fever. I can't really blame her.

Then, last night at dinner, she said that she'd "do anything to get out of kindergarten" because it was "too long." Oh my, she had us all laughing. I asked her if she gets a rest time, and she said no but they do have nap time and she doesn't take naps anymore so she would rather be home playing. We assured her that the only way to get out of kindergarten is to keep going and graduate to first grade. She slumped her shoulders and told us that at least she gets to stay home Monday because it is a holiday.

One week down.... Not even gonna count how many are left.

No News Yet...

2008-08-22T16:31:00.005-05:00

This whole adoption waiting thing is tough. We had been told one time frame, by 2 different people at the agency that had us waiting by the phone all week for news. When I finally broke down and called our consultant, she told us it would be another 3 months before we hear anything. Ugh. OK, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" so I can do this. So, no news yet.

However, the last time she gave us a 30 day time frame, that step took 2 days!! Am I wrong to hope that she is wrong again? Better to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best, I like to say.

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Today's Lots of Kids post...

Back to School:

This week the kids started back to school.

It hit me this summer pretty hard that I now have a middle school student! He is such a wonderful young man and I am incredibly proud of his accomplishments. The very first day of school, he came home to announce that he wanted to try out for the fall play. Oh my, I am so excited. I loved drama club as a student, and I am so happy that he is getting this opportunity. He can't decide if he wants to act or be on the lighting crew.... Haha, must be my kiddo alright.

Our oldest daughter is now the big kid of the family at the elementary school, and she takes her "responsibility" so seriously. She has taken it on herself to walk her kindergarten sister to her classroom. She is blossoming into a very responsible young lady. Somewhere a switch was flipped and she went from carefree little girl to being concerned about everyone around her and doing her part to help out on her own initiative. Wow!

Not to worry, we still have two carefree little ones... The younger two kids are kindergarten and first grade, and they just like school for snack time and recess.

I am enjoying each stage. Every year I think that this is the best stage for kids, but as they grow, it just keeps getting better. I guess sometimes it is good to be wrong. :-)

It's Not Right

2008-08-19T11:25:00.003-05:00

It is not right that
...146 MILLION children are orphaned
...146 MILLION children sleep at night with uncertainty about tomorrow
...In a world where medical life saving break-throughs are phenomenal, children die for the lack of basic immunizations
...In order for a waiting family to be blessed with an adoption referral, that precious child must lose all they have ever known
...The number of world wide orphans increases faster than the number of adoptive families
...Loving, wonderful, potential parents are deterred from adopting because of the initial up front legal fees
...Millions are hungry
...Millions are oppressed
...A 3 year old is labeled "hard to place" because so many parents only want babies
...Sibling groups are split up because it is "hard to place" a set of 3 or more siblings
...We bicker about politics instead of setting aside the rhetoric to feed, clothe, and place those in need

It's Just Not Right.

Long time, No Blog

2008-08-12T18:58:00.003-05:00

Yeah, I know. But, in a little way, I guess that means that we were too busy living life to sit and write about it, so I guess that is good. Anyway, here's the summer update...

Jackson turned 12. That in and of itself makes me stop and think, "Whoa, where did time go??" He is such a wonderful young man. He went through the Safe Sitter babysitting class at the local hospital last month, and he is very proud that he can earn his own money. So far, he has only watched his siblings, and only during daylight, with a neighbor on stand-by as his "available adult" and us attached to our cell phones. Go ahead and laugh, just wait until it's your turn and you will know what I mean. He babysat for the first time for 1 hour, and the second time for 3 hours. OK, that is all this mama can handle, and yes, we checked in several times during those times.

We had our 13th anniversary yesterday. WooHoo!! We had a lovely dinner at McCormick and Schmidt's. Yummy, yummy. And of course we spent the evening laughing about the past 13 years and how much we have changed.

We got our log in date with the CCAA for July 16, 2008. Now we are waiting for the seeking confirmation letter to arrive, hopefully this week or next. As far as the tentative timeline for our travel, we are hoping for October or November to bring home our precious little girl. We were able to send her a photo album, letter, and toy when we sent in the dossier, and she should have received it by now.

The two older kids had the well child doctor visits today, and they both were due for vaccines. Needless to say, they were quite comical trying to convince the doctor that they didn't need any more shots. Jackson went so far as to pull his arms into his t-shirt and say that he left his arms at home so he couldn't get any shots. Good for us, our family doc has a good sense of humor. He played along for a bit, but they got shots anyway.

Well, I guess that is the short version of the summer. Lots of sunshine and outside playtime, and splashing in the pool. School starts next Tuesday. If you need a little giggle for the day, picture sorting out school supplies for 5 kids in the middle of the floor, trying to keep track of the various lists with one kid or another saying, "Is that mine? How many do I get? Why does she get more than me?" with every item. Hehe. Makes me laugh anyway.

Until next time...

First Day of Summer???

2008-06-02T10:48:00.003-05:00

Well today is the first day the kids are not packing up to go to school. They have this one week at home and then start a 4 week summer enrichment program. Last night at dinner, Jackson said that his favorite part of the day was knowing that he gets to stay home this week.

Then came morning. Our plans to play outside and enjoy the fresh air was cut a little short. Yep. We woke up to clouds moving in. By mid morning there was lightening in the sky, and raindrops on the deck. So much for outdoor play. Oh well. I love having all the kids home. I will miss them next week, so I am just focusing on enjoying them now.

End of Another School Year

2008-05-29T13:19:00.005-05:00

Every year I say that the previous year just flew by. This year is no different. Last week, Jenna had her very last day of pre-school, and Jackson had his 5th grade recognition ceremony on that same night. What is a mama to do?

We have had our kids through the church pre-school since Jackson was in pre-k. Jacquelynne did not attend because by the time she was old enough we were homeschooling and I sent her to the homeschool co-op instead. But then, we transitioned away from homeschooling and the 2 younger kids went to pre-school there. Jenna's pre-k graduation was the week before, and it hit me that we are really out of that stage now. Sad to see it go, and excited about what the future will bring at the same time.

The older kids have field day today, and a half day tomorrow is the last day of this school year. Jackson will be done with elementary and moving on to middle school. Oh my. It was only yesterday that we attended his pre-k graduation, wasn't it? What happened to the little boy who was fascinated by the solar system and could diagram the entire solar system in kindergarten? Now, he is heading off to middle school. He is such an amazing young man. He is still fascinated by science, and is the proud caretaker of his very own bearded dragon. He is an avid reader, and wonderfully creative. He is caring and compassionate. He is a perfectionist to the "T." If you haven't noticed, this is one very proud mama. I could not ask for a better young man.

Joseph is excited to move on to first grade. His reading and writing have come such a long way this year. We celebrated his 7th birthday yesterday. He is such a little man. He loves to dress in long sleeve button down shirts, and does his best to look "handsome." Forget the t-shirt and sweatpants, this little fellow is a snazzy dresser.

Jacquelynne will be moving on to 4th grade. She is quite the perfectionist herself. She is driven to master any mathematics challenge that comes her way. In her first two years of school, she hated math. It challenged her and was very difficult for her. Now, she thrives on achieving 100% on her timed tests and moving up to the next level. She has a passion for science that focuses on animals. She delves into studying animal habitats and relationships to each other. Her favorite TV station is animal planet and she is transfixed by the creatures highlighted by the animal experts.

And then there is my little Jenna Boo. She has been promoted to kindergarten. Isn't she the "baby"? What happened? She went from being carried on my hip at all times to running around with her best friend from next door. She cruises around the yard in the power-wheels cars. She knows her colors and shapes, and has begun to write out letters. She assures me that she is too big to take a nap anymore, but after a long hard day of playing she will still crawl into my lap and lay her head on my shoulder. She is at that age where her arms and legs have lengthened out and she lost the toddler shape a while back. She is a little girl excited to be joining the "big kids" at school, but will secretly whisper in my ear that she will miss being with me and she is afraid that I will be lonely while she is at school.

OK, so enough of the ramblings and nostalgia. We will celebrate the ending of another school year and look forward to the next one. Our school system offers a 4 week summer school enrichment program in June, and they will all be going into their new grades the first week of June. Then they will be off all of July and half of August before the fall session of school begins. There are so many changes coming, and we are all ready to jump in feet first.

Prayers

2008-05-13T16:16:00.003-05:00

I find that I have been following international news items more lately that I used to. Of course I don't have to hunt around for the news about the earthquake that hit China on Monday. So much devastation. So many injuries. So many lives lost. And somewhere in the aftermath, we have a little girl waiting to come home with us. Sometimes I feel completely helpless to do anything. All I can do is pray. And yet we have been promised that God will hear our prayers, and answer our needs. So, if you have a moment to offer up a prayer for those hurting, He has promised to hear.

New Rose Bushes

2008-05-07T21:39:00.004-05:00

I must admit that I have slacked off of my gardening duties since we moved into this house 2 and a half years ago. When we moved in, we installed some basic bushes and trees and I put in some tulip and daffodil bulbs that fall. I added a few little black-eyed-susan plants and a couple of hostas, but that was pretty much it. I was doing good to put down new mulch with each new spring and to be honest my poor little front flower garden has been on the pitiful side of sad for some time.

Tonight, I finally got my rear to the garden center and picked out some roses. Even with 4 kids in tow, it was glorious to browse the rows of perennials and flowering shrubs. By the time we were done, I had two kids pushing carts, and I think I have decided which fountain I'd like to get for the front flower garden. I lined one area of the front garden with yellow and coral tea roses, and picked up one red climbing rose and some red shrub roses and dwarf English boxwoods for one side of the house. I will stop by the nursery tomorrow and have mulch delivered to finish off the project.

The late snow we had last year did some serious damage to my dogwood tree last March, but I held off on trimming it until I could see how much would come back this year. I got the dead branches out of it tonight, and actually pulled out over half of the branches. Hopefully it will have a better year this year and recover. That is my favorite tree.

Here's my post from the Lots of Kids blog:

Mother's Day Roses:

In my family we give yellow roses. I am not sure how far back the tradition goes, but I know that my grandfather would give my grandmother yellow roses and my parents had yellow roses in their wedding. Whenever there was an anniversary or a birthday, there would be beautiful yellow roses. At each house my parents owned, we planted yellow rose bushes. I cannot imagine sending my mother anything but yellow roses. I love yellow roses for the family tradition, but I also love coral roses, and my husband spoils me with them occasionally.

Now spring is here, and it is time to fill the flower beds. I have been using annuals for the past few years, but it just hasn't worked out the way I'd like. So, I told my dear hubby that what I wanted for Mother's Day this year was to plant roses. Tonight dh is away so the kids and I went out and purchased 4 yellow tea rose bushes, and 3 coral colored tea rose bushes for the front flower bed, and 5 red shrub rose bushes and one climbing rose to plant along the side of the house. We also picked up several other little fill-in perennials, and when I opened the back of the truck my neighbor across the street asked if I bought out the nursery :-)

I was able to get the front bushes in the ground before dark, and the side bushes will be put in tomorrow. Then we can mulch it all and it will be fresh and finished for Mother's Day. Better still, as each Mother's Day comes, and the plants mature over the years, I can enjoy the beauty of our family tradition in my very own front yard.

Needs, Wants, and Good Old Convenience

2008-04-16T15:57:00.005-05:00

I've been pondering the process of prioritization, and it has me examining my decision making process in the simple everyday bits and activities of life. I like things organized. I like to know that everything can fit in a neat little box that can be labeled and pulled out as needed. Well, the same goes for thought processes and priorities, in budgeting and time management. You know the old mantra, "Do I NEED it or just WANT it?" when making purchases? Well, this has led to an interesting couple of weeks around here. To us, it is no big deal, but after a conversation at work last week, I realized that maybe for some it is a big deal. Let me explain:

A few weeks ago, our dryer was giving us fits. Can you really blame it? After all, it has faithfully dried as many as 10-12 loads per week for years. Once again, Scott worked his magic on the poor old dryer, and it tumbled away, but couldn't really handle the heavier loads. So, we compromised. We washed the loads as usual, but hung up items that would air dry quickly and only loaded the dryer with about half of each load. After doing this several times, I realized that I was hanging almost the entire load of laundry to dry either on the rack in the laundry room, or on the shower rod in the bathroom across the hall. Then, the dryer gave a last tumble and went kaput. No biggie, we just kept hanging the clothes as we had been doing, and we draped the towels and sheets over the banister to dry.

We mentioned to each other that the dryer really has had it this time, and needed to be replaced. OK. We'll get to it. It is not that we can't replace it, but neither of us really wanted to go scouting the different models and compare prices to get the best deal. We'll get to it. Now, it has been a couple of weeks since the dryer went out, and it is still sitting there unplugged in the laundry room. No new machine yet. We'll get to it. We have talked about those new large capacity, stacking washers and dryers... Mmmm. Yep that is what we decided on about a year ago, and we still haven't made the leap yet, but maybe soon now that the dryer needs replacing anyway... and if we can swing it, I want to invest in 2 sets; after all, we are still doing 10-12 loads a week, and the kids are growing so as their clothes get bigger, there will be more loads.. add to that we are adding another child, and 2 sets would be very convenient.

Back to the issue at hand. What would have happened if the washer went out? That seems to be a no brainer to me, we would have piled in the car and had a new one purchased within 2-3 days (if not 2-3 hours). We just cannot go longer than 3 days without becoming buried in dirty clothes. But, is a dryer a need, a want or just a convenience? Well, we certainly need to have clothes. We need to clean those clothes, so I drop the washing machine in the need category. But we have been without a dryer now for several weeks, and we still have clean clothes. I can even see benefits of not running the dryer. For one thing, we are saving on electricity. I haven't seen the bills come through yet, but that is a pretty easy benefit to come up with. Next, we are forced to do at least 2 loads a day so that we have enough space for everything to dry. I mean, I don't want the laundry to take over the house literally, we may lose each other, and I only have so much "drying space." But, this means that we don't get bogged down and behind on the laundry either, so it is a benefit. And, finally, my house smells WONDERFUL! Let me tell you that whoever thought of combining Downy softener with Febreeze is just plain brilliant.

So, my conversation with a coworker last week was an eye opener. For us, it was maybe a little inconvenient to have to wait for the clothes to dry, but it isn't really a big deal. We deal with laundry daily anyway, so by the time I need to hang something today, the items from yesterday are ready to be put in the closet. But, when my coworker found this out, she was pretty shocked that we have waited so long, and I have still not set a date to go dryer shopping. It will get done eventually, but there are just so many better ways to spend my time right now. Air drying clothes doesn't take up any more of my time than the dryer. They just hang there and dry all by themselves. It's not like I have to stand there and watch them. I'd rather spend quality time with my hubby, or my kiddos. This is where I was pondering my process of setting priorities. A dryer is only a dryer, but having the windows thrown open and watching my children play outside on a beautiful spring day, or cuddling up with them and a book on the sofa on a rainy spring day just seems to be so much more important than carting them off with me to look at dryers. Besides that they are expensive, and I can still come up with ways to spend my money on other things, and still have the laundry done.

After all this rambling, you may just think I have finally lost my mind for good. But as silly as it may sound, being without a dryer has been a blessing in disguise. Sure we have our needs met; we have a lot of our wants met too, and, there is nothing wrong with convenience. But every so often we are allowed to see convenience for the blessing it is and be grateful for it. So I am grateful that I have the opportunity to examine what I have taken for granted (a functioning clothes dryer), and it only reminds me that God is so amazingly good to us, He will always meet our needs, and He will teach us something new everyday if we are willing to listen. He can even use an old worn out dryer as a teaching prop.

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Here's my post from the Lots of Kids blog last week:

Fresh Paint:

Oh, I love it! OK, so I don't love the clearing out the rooms, taping off the trim, etc. But, once it is done, I love the way it brightens up a room and makes it fresh and new again. We spent this weekend painting into the wee hours of the mornings, and there is still some finish details to do, but it is beautiful.

The girls' room is bright with a soft lavender on the top, a mint green stripe around the middle, and a robin's egg blue on the bottom. We rearranged the furniture, and hung white paper globe lanterns from the ceiling. It wasn't my first choice of color scheme, and is a little funky for my tastes, but I wanted them to have their say too. They said that they have gone from a little girl's room to a big girl's room. :-)

We had plenty of the green paint left to paint the girls' bathroom a solid green. We added new green and blue "frog" bath accessories to complete that one.

The boys' room is a rich red. Their bedding and decor is "Country Americana" and with a blue carpet, and white trim, the red is a perfect match for their quilts and such. We have to finish a second coat of paint down there tonight, then we can put the room back together tomorrow. The red is warm, and cozy. The boys (and Mommy) love it.

Finally, the new guest room (used to be Joesph's until he decided to move in with his brother), is a butter yellow on the top, and navy on the bottom with denim and multi colored bandanna accessories.

We will add new molding in all of the rooms to really make the colors pop and give them all a finished look, but the painting was enough for one weekend. Who knows, I just may get motivated by how good those rooms turned out to paint the whole house. :-)

Hmm. Fresh Spring breeze coming in the window and the sun is shining on fresh new paint.

Out of My Hands, and Sharpening my Focus

2008-03-19T10:55:00.006-05:00

Friday, I sent all of our dossier papers to the various Consulates to be authenticated. We had two documents that had to go to the US Secretary of State first, and then they will be forwarded to the Embassy in DC. They are all out of my hands now. All documents were received on Monday and are being processed.

We sat down on Monday night to work on our adoption parent education, but started with our dossier checklist to see what we needed to get done this week as our papers are being authenticated. We were able to check off all the various boxes on the list! There is such a sense of accomplishment when I get to place a check mark in the little box. Once the documents are sent back to us from the Consulates and the Embassy, we can put them all together and submit them all to the agency, who will submit them to the CCAA in Beijing.

It seems like a lifetime ago since we began this journey, but it was only October. Since then, so much has happened, and I am forever changed because of it. My father went to be with the LORD on December 28, 2007. He taught me so much about life and love. Even in my rotten, rebellious teenage years, he loved me unconditionally. He had the courage to stand up to me when I was wrong, and tell me so. It wasn't easy, and there were years that I thought my relationship with him was irreparably damaged. By God's grace, and my father's faithfulness, our relationship was restored. At the time of his death, he had become, once again, my biggest encourager and prayer partner. I spoke with him at least weekly, and I miss him dearly. I am not writing this to make you feel sorry for me. No, I know with all confidence that my tears of sorrow will be wiped away and I will be reunited with my earthly father one day when we meet again in heaven.

There are many lessons that my father taught me over the years. One of my most treasured lessons that I learned from my father's life is that success is measured not by the amount of monetary profit at the end of the day, rather it is measured by the lives that are touched by our service. My father would not be considered wealthy by most American standards, but he was richly blessed in his service to others. He told me more than once that I could not have anything I wanted, but that I could have anything I was willing to work for as long as God was glorified through my actions. This has become the cornerstone of what I want my children to learn.

I know this is wordy, and you are probably wondering if my rambling has a point. Well, here it is. Can you look back on your life and see how your purpose has been shaped by those around you? Can you see how the ones in your past have shaped your future goals and desires? There are too many people to list in one little blog post, but I can say that I can look around me and see those who have influenced me toward where I am today. Some people, like my father, have been positive influences in my life, and others have been shining examples of what I do not want to be. I can name many, many people that could be labeled as successful by worldly standards, and yet I look at their lives and see squandered potential. It breaks my heart to see amazing, talented individuals who could have used their influence to God's glory, but for whatever reason, they do not. I am not saying that these are bad people, don't get me wrong, they are not bad, only short-sighted. Have you ever been given a God-sized dream, and realized that you can be part of His purposed to bring it into reality? Think about Noah for a moment... others thought he was crazy, but he followed God's plan and humanity was redeemed for it.

This adoption process has sharpened my focus on the needs of orphans around the world. James 1:27 says "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (NIV). I have always had a heart for humanitarian aid organizations. But the needs are so great and diverse, it is easy to get lost in the sea of needs. All of these needs are real. They all need workers who will toil towards an end goal that is bigger than themselves. Many of these needs overlap and mesh together. For me, orphan care is the need that affects my family in a very real way. I am touched by the amazing families who work in this area through adoption. But what of the millions of children left behind?

That is where organizations like Children's Hope International, Compassion International, East-West Ministries, Shaohannah's Hope, and so many others come into play. These multifaceted organizations have humanitarian aid divisions that can focus on the care and need of the orphans who are not yet chosen for a forever home. And they need our help. Fundraising, donations, and raising awareness to the needs out there are all important. And, I guess this is just one little way for me to help out. I know that there are many causes out there that need help, and I am not trying to say that one is more important than another, no, this is one of many good causes, and unfortunately one person cannot focus on them all. I will not tell you that you have to choose orphan care as your primary focus, but it is a very real, viable option to consider.... just a little food for thought.

God Bless.

Adoption blog surfing...

2008-03-04T12:14:00.005-06:00

So what do I do when I am in need of inspiration and encouragement about this adoption process? I go blog surfing. I thought I'd share some of my favorites with you. Now, keep in mind, I have not even met these folks in person, but they have all touched my heart in one way or another. And, you know me, when I find something good, I have to share. So, here are a few of the people that I follow and pray for on a regular basis...

Cindy has the most beautiful set of triplets from Ethiopia. Her blog is always inspiring with photos and videos about living life through the boys' eyes. And, they are cute beyond words. Seeing them grow up and change over the course of the blog is wonderful.

The Bushel and a Peck blog wows me over and over. I have to say that Lisa is one of my new heroes for her ability to balance faith, family, and 10 children.

A blog that I just found last week is by Farmboy and Buttercup. Oh my, their humor is fabulous, and I was blown away by some of the scripture references they posted. I can only say that God has blessed me many times over through reading about their journey to adopt twins from Ethiopia.

And, I would be remiss to leave out one of my absolute favorite blogs ever, for Mac. Mac's story is not about adoption. He is a precious little boy battling a horrible illness. But I have to say, his mama amazes me. Her courage and grace in the midst of the toughest battle I can imagine is the most inspirational story I can think of. Mac's smile can brighten a room. I have only met this handsome little fellow once (at my father's funeral), but Amy (Mac's mama) is one of my sister's best friends, and I try to keep up with his prayer requests as best I can. And on that note, I want to give God praise and glory for the wonderful report that Mac's little brother is not a carrier for this disease!! For any of you who may go blog surfing, please hop on over to his page and say a little prayer for this wonderful, precious boy, and for the researchers who work daily to find a cure. God bless you Mac.

So there it is... just a small sample of the people who inspire and encourage me, even if they don't even know it.

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My Lots of Kids post today:

March is finally here:

Spring is on the way. I know it is. Really. The calendar promises that it cannot be winter forever, it just feels that way. But, March is here, and we had our first days of 65 degree weather on Saturday and Sunday for March to come in like a Lamb... wait, isn't that backwards? Oh well. The temperatures dropped back to 35 for Monday and today, so our little snippet that Spring is coming was short lived.

I love Spring. The spring and fall are my two favorite seasons. The moderate temperatures are perfect for ditching the heavy coats in favor of light sweaters. The trees will soon be sprouting little green buds, and before long, the daffodils will shoot up in all their brilliant splendor. Our wimpy dog (who despises the cold weather) will get to spend more time lazing around in the warm sunshine, and we will be able to keep the windows open for a fresh breeze.

And, as crazy as this sounds, I love rain. Spring tends to be our rainy season in this area of the country. I love the patter of rain on my windows and roof. I love to see the plants perk up as they drink in a soft gentle shower. A gentle rain shower is romantic, and cozy; perfect for snugging on the sofa with a quilt, a cup of tea, and a good book (or with a pile of kiddos and a bigger pile of their books)

But the spring cough and cold season have hit us full swing. Oh the joys of trying to comfort little people who are wracked with coughing fits all night long.... and without cough medicine too. Can you feel the sarcasm? Thanks to the good old scare about giving kids cough and cold medicines, so much has been pulled off the shelf. Now what are we supposed to do? Around here, it means the poor little tykes get lots of warm showers to try and help with congestion, and very little sleep for mom and dad.

Last night, it was Jenna's turn to be up coughing. No fever, just cough. Bless my dear hubby, he's the one who has to get up the earliest, but he was still valiantly trying to give sips of water and keep her propped up on the pillows while I rubbed her back with my eyes half shut. Poor little thing. All 32 pounds of her shakes with every cough. I don't know about you, but around here spring and fall weather changes just reek havoc on our health. And, with 6 of us in the same house, and whichever kid is sick at the time crawling into bed with us at night, we just keep it going around.

But, even this pesky spring cough is a reminder that warmer days are coming. Spring is finally on its way.

Random Thoughts....

2008-03-03T16:50:00.004-06:00

1. GOD IS SO GOOD!!! Ok, I just had to begin with that one. I know that so much of the crud around us is frustrating and miserable, but He is still faithful. He never leaves us to our own devices. He is good, even when we don't deserve it.

2. To fill you in on our little Miss Julia, we requested her file from the waiting child coordinator at our agency on Monday Feb 18th. Unfortunately, another family requested it 2 hours before me.... We had to wait. Then, on Thursday, I got a call that her file was available, so we reviewed it, and decided that she was the one for us. I just knew, every time I looked at her face, she looked like my child. Yes, I know, she is Chinese, but you know how you dream of your child for so long, and then as soon as she is born and you see her face, you know that is exactly how she should look, and you cannot imagine that she look any different? Well, that was the case here too.

So, that night, we were beginning our letter of intent and Family information sheet, and I saw an email that said her file was locked by another agency. WHAT?!?! How could that be? I knew it was a chance that we would take, but that was really fast. So, we emailed the China coordinator back and told her that we were proceeding with the paperwork and would submit it to her so she would have it just in case the other agency did not get a letter of intent within the 24 hour period required by the CCAA. We knew without a doubt that if this was our child, God would not allow her to be placed in another home. He places children exactly where He wants them to be.

The next afternoon, we got a call that she was available again, and Ann was having our letter and information translated into Chinese, we just need to submit our passport photos. An hour and a half later, she was locked by the other agency again. Dear Ann, promised to keep checking back. We were riding a roller coaster of emotion, but God was still in control.

Everyday we got an email that said "still locked." Then on Tuesday night we were sitting in our favorite Mexican restaurant after a night of student conferences, and Ann called us to say that she checked the CCAA site one more time and there she was. Since Ann had already had our paperwork translated, she was submitting our stuff right then. Within a few minutes, she called back to say everything was submitted!

Our little girl was locked in for us. We would have a daughter... a precious 5 year old little girl, one month younger than our Jenna... A little girl who was born on my parents' 32nd anniversary. We hope to travel this fall to bring her home. She is absolutely beautiful. Ann later told me that she was touched by our leap of faith to write a letter of intent for a child that seemed out of reach. God is good.

3. I was reminded by Jillienne's blog that I do have 4 other kiddos to talk about too (thanks Jillienne). All the kiddos had super reports from their teachers on their student conferences. I cannot believe that Jackson will be in MIDDLE SCHOOL this fall! And, Jenna will begin Kindergarten! Am I really that old? No, I didn't think so either, but my kiddos sure are growing up fast! Well, dinner is ready, gotta go feed the hungry masses!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

2008-02-26T21:07:00.004-06:00

More information will follow when I can think clearly... But we are officially expecting a 5 year old little girl! The call came tonight, and I cried for joy, sitting in a restaurant, not caring who was watching!

One Long, Busy Day

2008-02-11T16:02:00.002-06:00

That is what today was. Long. Busy. And on top of that, we used an entire tank of gas. Oh well, the price to pay for getting documents State Certified... one step closer to sending the dossier. Jenna says that the next time we have a busy day planned, she is going to hide where I cannot find her so we can stay home.

Poor Jenna. We had to go to the bank, post office, 2 different Secretary of State offices (two different states), back to the first Secretary of State office, the county court house, and back to the post office. We made it back home with barely enough time to meet the kids off the school bus. The weather is bitter cold and windy, and Jenna fell, nose first, on the sidewalk. Now, she has an ugly little scrape on her top lip.

I am exhausted, and it is just now time to start kiddos on homework and get dinner started.

I will be sooooo thankful to get this dossier submitted. Our original goal was Feb 28th, and because of our unexpected month long trip to MD, we are a little behind, but not too much.

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This is my Valentine's post from Lot's of Kids, last week:

I Know What Love Is:

Valentine's Day is getting closer, and it has made me think. When I was growing up, my father would buy each of us a red heart Valentine's Day balloon. Even when I was a rebellous teenager, my dad instilled in me the concept that I was loved unconditionally just because I was me, even when he did not approve of my actions. When I was older, and married, my dad would call me every Valentine's morning to remind me that he loved me. Throughout the year he would call me randomly through the week to just say hi. A Daddy's Love is a precious thing.

I know, you were thinking that this would be all about my wonderful hubby, right? Well, it is. See, he loves me unconditionally too. These past few months have challenged me in ways I never anticipated. You know what I found out? That old phrase "my better half" isn't that far off. Not to say that Scott is better than me, or that I am better than him. No, we are just two parts of one whole. When I am discouraged, he encourages me. When he is frustrated, I provide a different perspective. We work together. It is not me and him, it is us. And I am so thankful for that us.
I have been called many things in my life. I have many responsibilities and duties. But, we are a team. I know that there are a lot of families that function very well with the husband that "brings home the bacon" and the wife who "cares for hearth and home." That is great, and if it works for you I am happy for you. I don't mean to offend any one else, but that is not how our home works. We have a more collaborative style. Every decision involves us both. We coordinate our work schedules so that one of us can be with the kids. Our kids take up a lot of our time, and when we work opposites shifts, sometimes we pass each other coming and going. But, we always find time each week for just us.

I have often been told that I am only successful at what I do because I have a husband who allows me to do those things. Well, I wonder if they ever considered that we are successful at what we do because we work together to get it all done as a family. We do not have a bunch of kids because my poor hubby was tricked into them in order to make me happy. No, we have a bunch of kids because WE made the choice. We choose to raise our family with values and morals that we hold dear, and that includes working together as a family unit.

Just a few weeks ago, my father passed away. I have had a lot of conversations with people about the measure of a sucessful life. In my opinion, success is not based on who can earn the most profit and have the most stuff. Success is based on values and supporting each other as we influence the people around us, hopefully for the better. At the end of the road, the only thing that we can take with us is our integrity, and our name. We all have a legacy to leave. I hope that as I live each day, others will see my life and know that I am successful because of the love and encouragement of these amazing men that I call my father and my husband.

I am blessed everyday because of the unconditional love that these two men have shown me. One told me from the time I was small that I could do anything I was willing to work for, and taught me about God's unconditional love by his example. The other one supports and encourages my efforts as we work towards our goals together.

So there it is. Love is unconditional. There is nothing on this earth as empowering than to know that kind of love.

Somebody's missing...

2008-01-28T09:56:00.002-06:00

Yesterday after church service, it happened again. I was standing there in the sanctuary with all four of my kiddos and someone said, "This isn't all of your kids, is it? Isn't somebody missing?" My heart was gripped for a moment and I looked her straight in the eye and replied, "No, this isn't all of them, there is one still in China that I haven't brought home yet." This is happening more and more these days. Even our dear social worker who wrote our homestudy looked at the four kids last week and asked who was missing.

My answer is the same to them all. "Yes, someone is missing, and I am doing everything I can to bring her home." This adoption process has been such a lesson in faith. We know with all certainty that God has already selected our child. She is there, waiting for us just as we are waiting for her. I cannot wait to meet her. I do not yet know where she is or when she was born. I just know that she is there, and she has already been perfectly selected for our family. She is spoken for, even if she doesn't know it yet.

God does not make mistakes. He will bring her home to us in His perfect timing. And, He continues to remind me on a daily basis that He has a wonderful child waiting for us... Praise Him that she won't be missing for long.

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My post on Lots of Kids from yesterday...

My Stapler Has a Home...

...and I am all kinds of happy!!! Yeah, I know, that may just permanently define me as totally not normal, but really, normal is over-rated.

I might need to elaborate. Every year I go through this crazy, paperwork-obsessed time. It always happens in January and February. You know, it is tax filing season, so I go through every pile of papers in my home to find all of the stuff I need. Now, don't get me wrong, several years ago I adopted this really great filing system. It is based on a 3 drawer system to keep track of all the important stuff. The system is great. The problem is that I only had one drawer. So, for the past 7 years I have been cramming all that stuff into one drawer, and lots of piles. Now, add to that great filing system my current adoption process. I am learning the hard way that there is more paperwork associated with adoption than taxes. So, now it is tax season, and adoption season, and I am purging and sorting paperwork like a crazy woman.

So, here is where I get excited. Last week, I was discussing the need for a new filing cabinet with my husband. It doesn't have to be glamorous and elaborate, but I wanted something in oak that would look nice and be functional at the same time. See, we don't really have an office, per se. Our computer desk is in this little nook between the laundry room and two bedrooms... I use the term "nook" generously... the hallway is just wide enough to accommodate the desk, and still walk to the rooms comfortably.... and it will be visible from the living room and dining room areas. I was lamenting that I was having a hard time justifying the expense on something like a filing cabinet when I have all these other ways to spend the money. He told me to forget about it for this once, and to go that day to get a filing cabinet. We got online to check basic prices at one of the local furniture mega-warehouse stores, and decided on a budget. I was really only needing a 2 drawer cabinet to better accommodate my 3 drawer system. We discovered that there wasn't much price difference to get a 4 drawer cabinet, and it was still within what I could budget.

So, my "frivolous," spur of the moment, but really, really needed filing cabinet came home with me that very same day, and I have two extra drawers to fill up. What a wonderful hubby I have. (This is where my single and or childless friends have determined that I am nuts) My new filing cabinet is one of my favorite purchases!!! I have spent the last week sorting paperwork, and putting things together where I can find them at a moment's notice. I even splurged on a new set of post-it note pads, paper clips, file folders, and hanging files to complete my little system. One of these days I may get one of those fancy little office supply sorter things to put the little stuff in. For now, I have my pencils and supplies sorted in coffee cups on top of file cabinet. And, to top it off, I found my stapler, and gave it it's very own spot, so I can find it when I need it, instead of searching every child's room.

I have this little fantasy that one day I will be one of those really organized people where everything in the house has a place, and everything gets returned to it's place after each use. For now, I am just happy that I can sort my paperwork and find my stapler and paper clips when I need to. I'll deal with the rest of the stuff later.

Tribute to my Father

2008-01-02T19:48:00.002-06:00

This is what I shared as a tribute to my daddy, at his memorial service on Dec 31, 2007:

My Dad taught me a lot of things growing up. But the most important thing he taught me was that this life is not about the here and now. It is not about this earth. It is about eternity.

We just celebrated his last Christmas on this earth and I am thankful that my family was able to be here for it. My husband and I planned our trip 5 days before we left to drive out here. We knew that his condition was serious, and we decided at the last minute that I would take Family Medical leave to spend as much time as I could with him. Little did I know how close the timing actually was. We arrived on Saturday the 22nd. He was at home, and he hugged my children and smiled as he told them that he loved them and that he was glad they came to see him. God blessed my family that day with that one little visit. It was early the next morning when my sister and I rushed from her house to the hospital. Dad was in the ER.

This past week has been a flurry of activity, worry, and grief. But this past week has also been a week of God raining his blessings on our entire family. My grandma, mom, brother, sister, and I have been supported and loved by friends, family, and the wonderful hospital staff. We have laughed and cried as we have been reminded about all that dad accomplished in his 58 years.

We had our Christmas with Dad in a hospital room, and we celebrated the true meaning of the season.

Growing up, we never had a Santa decoration in the house. We had nativity sets. Every year we talked about the birth of our Savior, and the gifts the wise men brought. That is why we exchange gifts today.

I am thankful that my Dad taught me the true meaning of Christmas. But I am more thankful that he taught me about Easter. You see, Jesus was born in order to die for our transgressions.

I am thankful that he taught me that this life is not all we have. We have a heavenly father who loved us so much, He sent his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but will have eternal life. We have a heavenly Father who is the awesome God of the universe. He is holy and majestic and he cares about us. He sees our hurt, our pain, our joy and our weakness. He accepts us as we are, broken and sinful. And when we have no strength left to give, he carries us so that in our weakness He can prove Himself strong.

My Dad used to do children’s messages with little “magic tricks” to show how simple God’s love is. It is so simple even a little child can understand. The Bible says if you believe with your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, you will be saved. The result of accepting God’s free gift of salvation is eternal fellowship with the One, True, and Awesome God of the universe.

We are all sinners, not one of us is holy. It is amazing to me that a holy God actually chooses to have fellowship with sinful people. He desires us so much that He provided the sacrifice once and for all for our sin. In Romans, we are told that while we were still sinners, Jesus Christ died for us.

I am grateful that my parents taught me that scripture, prayer, and faith are important in this life. Scripture is God’s holy word to us and prayer is our two way communication with God. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see. I cannot see my heavenly Father, but I know with all assurance, by His own word that He sent His son to be born in a stable and die on a cross to be the sacrifice for my sin; so that I can have eternal fellowship with the awesome creator of the universe.

My father taught me the importance of sharing my faith through the way that I live. By the fruit of our lives we are known. My father chose to serve God in his life and his career. Now, he is forever celebrating in the presence of the Great “I Am”.

It is humbling to think that we have the privilege to serve God. He can accomplish His plan without us. I am honored that my father’s service to God has led many others to fellowship with Christ. I am humbled to speak with so many wonderful Christian leaders who were touched by my father’s life.

I am comforted to know that I will see my father in heaven and we will worship and praise our Savoir for all eternity.

For my dad, I’ll be missing you here on this earth, but I will see you again on the streets of gold.

WELL DONE, DADDY.

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This is what I said on the Lots of Kids Blog today:

A Christmas Like No Other:

This Christmas was like none other I can think of. Two weeks before Christmas, we were told that my father was very ill, and there was a possibility that he would not survive until Easter. My husband and I decided to spend my father's last Christmas with my family, so we packed at the last minute, and drove half way across the country to be here in time. We arrived on Sat Dec 22nd, and he was at home, tired but smiling. The next morning he went into the hospital and he passed on to be with the LORD on Dec 28th.

This year, I sobbed on Christmas day as my father was taken into the ICU. I grieved for my children when they came to the hospital to tell him "Merry Christmas" and "We love you, Grandpa" even though he could not respond.

My New Year's Eve was a memorial service for my father. We celebrated his life and his service to God as a life long career minister. It was humbling to see the collection of amazing Christian leaders gather to celebrate how my father's ministry touched their lives and helped to develop their own ministries.

This year, I begin a New Year grieving my loss, but rejoicing for his gain. This year, my mother will learn how to be a widow in stead of a wife. This year, we will learn a new kind of "normal."
This year, I am cherishing the gift of my family.

Here's to a year of no regrets.

Christmas is almost here...

2007-11-27T17:07:00.001-06:00

The tree in my room...

Meet Frosty...

Better watch out, the nutcracker army is in position...

Living Room tree...

Jackson's tree...

Jacquelynne's and Jenna's tree...

Joseph and his tree...

Dining with Jenna

2007-11-20T15:22:00.003-06:00

For those of you who have not had the experience to go out to lunch with Jenna, let me tell you what to expect. For a little background, remember that Jenna is the youngest of four, and when it is her turn to have one on one time, she is a show stealin' little, fun lovin' little super star. Alright, here's the plan:

1. Choose someplace that SHE likes; one that plays peppy music is a plus. For example, Rancho Grande Cantina has these kid sized mini tacos, that are the perfect size for Jenna. Oh, and forget the healthy side dishes, chips and salsa will do just fine.

2. When one of her favorite songs comes on overhead, and she says "Hey, it's the Shrek song!!" as you are walking to the table... forget going quickly, and don't bother to correct her about the song's title. She really doesn't care who Smashmouth is or what he originally named the song... it is "the Shrek song" from here on out so just deal with it.

3. Of course you are headed to the very back of the restaurant, and you are walking past everyone in the restaurant, but Jenna needs her dance time. So, expect this half skip, half boogie all the way to the back. Hands flying in the air, curly head bouncing back and forth, eyes half closed, singing along... Just smile at all the people who cannot help but grin at this little bundle of energy.

4. Next, position her booster seat perfectly in front of you. She gets ALL your attention for now. Also, scoot the booster seat all the way back against the back rest of the booth. Boogie time isn't over yet.

5. Jenna needs her own dipping bowl of salsa. No other options here. This 31 pound five year old can inhale salsa by the gallon.

6. Don't bother offering any other lunch options. You are here for mini tacos.

7. When another catchy song comes on, get ready for Jenna's version of salsa dancing. She tries really hard to be careful and not spill, but it is a challenge when rocking side to side in a booster seat, nodding her head and shaking her shoulders to the beat. Keep napkins on hand.

8. You may be in a hurry to move on to your next task, but Jenna eats at her own pace. She enjoys every bite, and you are not going anywhere until she has finished her bowl of salsa.

9. Sit back and relax. Realize that you rush through too many things in life. Just enjoy the moment, she will grow up too fast, and soon, she'll be more concerned with being cool than dancing through lunch.

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My Thanksgiving post from Lots of Kids:

Happy Thanksgiving:

I don't cook turkey. I cook side dishes and pies. But, I don't cook turkey. Fortunately for me, my husband can cook a fabulous turkey. My father-in-law apparently was king of the turkey prep while my husband was growing up, and I guess it rubbed off on Scott during his youth. He actually LIKES to cook turkey. It is a whole production. All of the kids are involved somehow, from mixing and cooking the stuffing, to stuffing the bird and basting. Scott and the kiddos cook the turkey. Works for me.I have to laugh about how different we are. I grew up with a mom who preferred that my dad made pork chops cooked on the grill to spending hours cooking a turkey; so my family usually had grilled pork chops for Thanksgiving. We lived 1000 miles from my extended relatives, so it was just my family of 5 around the table growing up. And, I didn't have homemade cranberry sauce until I was an adult and married. My first year and a half of marriage, I lived near my grandmother, aunt and uncle, and cousins (my mother's side of the family). My grandmother makes amazing cranberry sauce, and now I make it too.My husband grew up with Thanksgiving meals of a huge turkey and all the fixings to go with it, and lots of extended family around to share it. I learned from my husband and my children that it is not about the end result that creates the quality family time. It is the entire family in and out of the kitchen all day, kids climbing over each other to help. The meal is always good, and the littlest kids pass a turkey leg between them like at a Renaissance Festival.Last year we hosted a bunch of friends who were all in town for the holiday. This year it is just the six of us. And, over the weekend, after the turkey induced coma wears off, we will transform the house into a winter wonderland of Christmas cheer. That is our plan for the weekend. May your holiday be blessed with friends, family, and good food (turkey or not). God Bless.

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And one more from my Lots of Kids posts today:

When Daddy's Away:

My poor hubby. He doesn't travel as much as many husbands do, but he does go out of town for an overnight a couple of times a month. Problem is that we tend to have these "little emergencies" when he is gone. Two weeks ago one of the parakeets died while he was gone. Tonight, Joseph had hives that caused his face and toungue to swell. He is ok now... I loaded him up with Benedryl, put all 4 kids in the car, and hauled them into the emergency room. By the time we got there the swelling had gone down, and they gave him a steroid to keep it down. The doctor and all the nurses said I did the right thing with the Benedryl before coming in, and we were in and out of the ER in under 2 hours.But, my poor hubby was 4 hours away, wondering if he needed to be on his way home. Had things turned out differently than they did, I would have asked him to come home. But, everybody is fine now, we have more medicine on hand, and I will be checking in on Joseph all night long.It is hard enough to be around when things go crazy. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for him to be gone and things go crazy. Well g'nite all. It's time for me to go check on my boy.

Missing Hamster...

2007-11-12T15:28:00.002-06:00

What do you call an almost 5 year old sitting on the side of the bed intently staring at the dresser?

Well, if the hamster is out of his cage and hiding behind the dresser, we call that almost five year old Jenna. Yep. Scott was on the phone and Jenna didn't want to wait to ask for supervision to get her hamster out to play. So, she took him out and was attempting to get the little guy in his exercise ball when he made his great escape. So Jenna sat, staring at the dresser, waiting for the hamster to come out so she could catch him and "hide the evidence" against her.

Unfortunately for Jenna, but good for the hamster, Jacquelynne came in to get the cage for cleaning. Jenna told her she couldn't take it yet because Spirit (Jenna's hamster is named after a horse... go figure) wasn't in there. Jacquelynne was alarmed and informed Scott, who came to move the dresser and rescue the hamster. I think the little guy was happy to go back in his nice, safe, clean cage.

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My Lots of Kids post from today:

Adoption

We have done the pregnancy/labor/childbirth thing 4 times. I am pretty good at knowing what to expect, and how I will feel about the process. This world of adoption is a whirl-wind. I feel like I have been swept up in the center of a tornado, and I'm whipped about to and fro without a visual on where I will land. I know that the end result is my child, but the process is a ride.

Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork; and I'm still not done with the home study! Top it all off with the list of waiting children, and my heart is torn (for all of them, but one in particular).The mental image of my family that I had 12 years ago has shifted several times... and always for the better. It is shifting again, and I know that just like physical labor and childbirth, there is beauty in the end result but pain in the here and now. I am learning to let go of my control over the result and wait to see what God has intended for us. If it was up to me, I'd travel tomorrow and deal with the details later. Unfortunately, that is not how the process works and I have to deal with the details now, and see the results later.There are so many "what if" and "maybe" questions to be answered. Maybe I was wrong in the mental image I had of my child. Maybe I need to let it go. If I was wrong, I can swallow my pride. Either way, I have to let the process work, and know that this precious little child will find a forever family, even if it is not mine.

Snag in the adoption paperwork...

2007-11-07T15:43:00.001-06:00

Some silly clerk typed the wrong abbreviation for Missouri on my original marriage certificate... instead of MO they typed MI, and therefore my original marriage certificate does not match my birth certificate. OK, so we got that changed with the clerk of the City of Baltimore, and I have a corrected version issued by the city. Good enough for my passport, not good enough for the adoption. Nope, China requires a STATE certified version and will not accept the City version. Problem is that Maryland's State office will not and cannot alter the original. I have to get the correct version from the city. But China will not take the city version, and I cannot get the one issued by the city to be state certified. So, the ONLY possible state certified version is incorrect by one little letter, and it cannot be corrected. But that one little letter means that the marriage certificate does not match the birth certificate.

Is your head spinning yet? Mine too.

All because some clerk looked at a Missouri birth certificate, and did not bother to look up the correct abbreviation. Seriously, this is 8th grade social studies, right here.

A Letter to Julia's Birth Family

2007-10-29T00:50:00.001-05:00

I am posting this on both of my blogs. Where ever you are, I hope you have the chance to see this.

I know that I will not meet you on this side of heaven. This was the only way I could think of to tell you what is in my heart. I cannot imagine the emotions that you are experiencing as you prepare to give up your daughter so she can become mine. You are courageous and I love you. O know that you loved her enough to give her life. You loved her even more to hope for her things that you may not have. I want you to know that I love her. I do not know where she is right now. Somewhere in China you are loving her, and your heart is broken for the choice you must make. My heart is broken too. Your grief is a powerful thing. If I could wrap you in my arms to tell you thank you, I would. I am praying for you. I pray that the one true and awesome God of all creation will wrap you in his loving arms and be your comfort. I pray that He is your strength and your shield. I pray for your health and safety, and you will be in my heart for as long as I breathe on this earth. I want you to know that she will be safe. She is loved. She will have a mother and a father who love her and long to give her all that we are capable of. She will have older brothers and sisters who will cherish her as their little sister. She will be raised to know that she is Chinese born even though she will have full rights and status as an American. We will teach her about Chinese customs and culture to the best of our ability. I thank you for the gift of my daughter. We are working on the paperwork to be completed so that we can travel to get her. The estimates that we have been told are 2 or more years until we will see her. I promise you that we will not give up. As long as it takes, no matter what else happens, we will find her, and we will bring her home. Her name will be Julia Grace. If I could, I would tell her all about you. I know that we will not be able to meet. So I will tell her that you loved her enough to give her to me. Thank you for your gift and for your sacrifice.

The Brood Keeps Growing...

2007-10-23T21:49:00.001-05:00

Well, parent teacher conferences and the grade reports came today. All A's (or the kindergarten equivalent) and all the teachers say we have terrific kids (Duh!). We have spent the last several months talking with the kids about responsibility, and earning the things that they want. Up until now, all of our pets have been family pets... alright, the dog is for Scott and the cats and birds are for me; but the point is the kids have been wanting their own pets. We set the standard of straight A's to get their own pet. They all earned it. They are responsible for the care, and keeping of them.

Joseph (age 6) now has his very own Beta Fish named Marlin.

Jacquelynne (age 9) and Jenna (almost 5) each have their own dwarf hamsters named Spirit and Sammy. Jacquelynne even said that she knows that she will be caring for Jenna's hamster.

I swore I would NEVER have a reptile. Never. Not gonna happen. I will not purchase crickets to eat.

Jackson (age 11) has a Bearded Dragon named Harry. (And, don't tell anyone, but it is kind of cute) However, I am still not purchasing crickets, that is all on Scott.

And as exhausting as it was to go to Petsmart with all our kids and purchasing assorted habitats, it was really fun. We got home and set up all the habitats, and put them in each of the kids' rooms (girls share a room so it worked out well). Everybody went to bed late, so sorry for the teachers tomorrow.

This is what makes family so much fun.

We finally got it started...

2007-10-22T11:14:00.002-05:00

We have been planning this for over seven years. We have prayed, cried, planned, researched, and waited a very long time. Yesterday afternoon, we submitted our first batch of paperwork to adopt. We are planning on going to China to bring home our next child. Most likely it will be a girl, but a boy is possible; and most likely we will get a 2-3 year old, but a baby is possible too. Either way, God already knows the who, where, when and how. Originally, our plans would have already had us there and back by now. Jenna is turning 5 next month, and we really didn't want to space it out this much, but I trust in God's perfect plan for our family. I am learning to hand it over to Him, and trust. Of course, I have trusted in His will in the past, but this is just one more challenge to build my faith and when I finally hold my child in my arms, the time and prayer will be worth it. For now, we are content to call her Julia, and know that one day, she will fianlly be ours.

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My Lots of Kids article for today:

Big Family???

Yeah, this is going to seem weird to some, and down right crazy to many, but I do not think I have a Big Family. OK, statistically, I have a larger than average family, but maybe the average is small, and my family is actually "normal." I know it is a stretch, but go with me for a minute.Our life has been blessed with four wonderful children, and yesterday we turned in the paperwork to begin the adoption process to bring home #5.

Our kids are like stair steps... 11, 9, 6, 4... one kid at a time, each unique and gifted and as individuals. Each one teaches me something different about myself, the world, and about the way God loves each one of us exactly the way we need it. They love each other, fight with each other, defend each other, and tattle on each other. It would be really quiet around here if even one was not here.

I have always known that I wanted a big family. Coming from a family with three children, my then boyfriend, now husband thought I was kidding when I told him that I'd like to have 9 kids. He has come around, and we both have agreed that we just take it one at a time, and we will add to the "bunch" when the time is right. We had each of our kids for a different reason... including a surprise, but we have known kids would be a big part of our lives. We enjoy the challenge and even the chaos.

I don't think I have a reason for choosing a "Big Family." My life has been blessed with children, and I pray that God continues to bless us with more children. If I can teach them to become responsible adults that do good for others, then I have done my job of leaving this world a little better than I found it.

Not me...

2007-10-16T20:05:00.001-05:00

There is syrup in my keyboard. I usually type at a decent speed, but right now, I have to double check every "y" and "h" because those two keys are stuck together with syrup.

Why?

I knew you would ask that... because "Not me" must have eaten pancakes while playing on the computer.

Who is "Not me"?

I knew you would ask that too... "Not me" is my other child. The one I cannot see with my eyes, but leaves his/her mark all over my house. I know "Not me" lives here, because none of my visible children would leave blue marker on the basement wall, crumbs on my floor, or eat pancakes at the computer desk. It is all the secret work of "Not me."

"Not me" is a naughty little child. And now, every time I type a Y or an H, I get both letters on the screen. Ugh. Did you know that pancake syrup does NOT come out of keyboards? Nope, just have to get a new one.

William Tell Mom Sayings

2007-10-10T16:41:00.003-05:00

very funny

Happy Fall

2007-09-26T11:48:00.001-05:00

Sorry, it wouldn't all fit in one picture...

My kid thinks I'm cool...

2007-09-26T10:18:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I was the "coolest mom in the world!" Yes, I know, this was in between being the "meanest mom," and dealing with the bouts of "I wish I didn't have a brother!" But, for just a moment, I was "cool." Wanna know why? This week I finally got the fall decorations up. Over the last few years, I have slowly been building my seasonal decor, and this years' focus was fall. Mind you, tight budgets don't allow for a lot, but it forces me to stick with stuff I really like so it is a good thing. Hobby Lobby had fall stuff 50% off, so I added a few little odds and ends to get it the way I wanted, and I got our dining room nook done yesterday. We now have a little pumpkin patch complete with fake leaves, pumpkins, scarecrows, pilgrim turkeys, fall colored flowers, and a hay bale. I pulled out the fall dishes; and I put a scarecrow wall hanging by the front door, little ceramic pumpkins by the fireplace, and a fall garland on the front living room window. It may seem cheesy to some, but I love this stuff. Anyway, last night, and then again this morning, my 11 year old son said, "I love that you made the whole house look like autumn. You are the coolest mom ever." Now, all of my kids noticed the decor, and laughed at the silly scarecrows and turkeys, but Jackson really appreciated that I went out of my way to decorate the house. There aren't a whole lot of times I get thanked for being a mom, or doing the routine stuff around the house. In the past, I have decorated for me. It is something I love to do. It gives a whimsical, homey feel. It is a visual adventure to look at the little details, and smile at silly turkeys dressed like pilgrims. I have been warning Scott for a long time that eventually, I'd love to be able to decorate for each season like this (except for Christmas, which takes a week to put up all the decorations, and takes over every imaginable space in the house, but that's another story). Jackson's comments just reinforced to me that I should keep it up. Sure, it is a hassle to pull everything out of totes, set it up, clean it up...etc. But, it makes our house a fun, creative place to be. And, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Welcome to the funny farm

2007-09-25T22:00:00.001-05:00

So, here I am. I am reserving this blog for my Lots of Kids blog posting. I still have the my other blog, and you are welcome to check it out too.

As for this blog. This is life with a full household. Some days it is chaos, and some days I am really quite organized. Most days are somewhere in between. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and welcome to my little corner of the world.